The Spanish Wedding
by SpikesLuv
Summary: Set in Season 6, Buffy is back, Anya decides she wants a Spanish wedding, Spike gets a surprise, Buffy is plagued with whipped cream dreams..things get crazy and wakyness ensues...this is a B/S fic...humerous, and lots of fun! Please Read and Review!
1. Default Chapter

The Wedding Invitation ****

The Spanish Wedding 

Part 1

Spike was out patrolling on another cold Wednesday night in Sunnyhell. 

"Bloody hell, why am I out patrolling? I should be sitting in my crypt, with a nice warm mug of blood watching Passions reruns", he thought to himself. 

It was Wednesday, Spike's weekly Passions marathon night, which he'd been having ever since he was chained up in Gile's bathtub.

"Instead, I'm out here doing the Slayer's dirty work, killing my own kind..Wow Spike you've sure come far, used to be a bloody master vampire, now I'm the poof in training." But WHY was he doing it? "Because I love her", he thought, "She may never return those feelings, but I love her with every fiber of my undead being."

And he was more than willing to prove it to her. He watched the Nibblet on occasion, which he didn't mind very much, because he really liked the kid, he patrolled when she was sick, even helped the Scoobies research, even if it meant putting up with Xander. Over the past few months, things had changed between them, and although they weren't lovers like he wished they could be, they were friends, and that's the biggest crumb Spike could have ever wanted. He was close to her, and she actually respected him.

It was an unusually quiet night in one of Sunnydale's many graveyards. Spike had only dusted two vamps, and a fledgling. Since Buffy had come back from the dead a few months ago, she had this aura that no vamp or demon wanted to be around, well except Spike. She had gotten stronger, both physically and mentally, and was a force to be reckoned with. However, Spike thought she came back more sexy than ever before.

"No wonder there are hardly any vamps here anymore", Spike said as he turned and headed towards his crypt. 

But when he turned he bumped into something warm, soft, and at the same time, deadly. "Spike, what are you doing?" 

"Slayer, glad you decided to show up, slaying just isn't the same with out you", Spike added with an evil grin on his face. "Thought you were stuck home watchin the Nibblet?"

"Well, she decided to go to her friend Danielle's house, therefore leaving me to patrol and clean up the mess she left in the kitchen..Which I add why are you patrolling? I figured you'd be at home watching Timmy dance around and talk about him self in third person?" she asked.

"Well you know, that whole living doll thing is really overrated", he said with a smile on his face.

"Who is this Spike?" she thought to herself? "I mean he's actually funny, and he cares about me. I mean we've gotten past the whole "mortal enemies" thing, but he's changed so much in the last four years I've known him. I actually enjoy being around him-well sometimes" 

"Well Spike, why are you here patrolling?"

"Well, I knew you were babysittin lil bit tonight, so I guess I decided to come out and do it for you."

He expected her to go into a speech where she's the slayer, and she can handle it herself, but something else came instead.

"Spike", she said.

"Yeah Buffy?"

"Thank you." And with that she kissed him lightly on the lips and then started to walk away, heading for home.

"Buffy where are you going?" Spike asked, stunned by the kiss.

"Home, I have to get up early tomorrow, I'm getting fitted for my dress for Anya and Xander's wedding."

"Oh yea the 'glorified bricklayer' is getting hitched…never thought I'd see that day come. I'm sure my invitation's in the mail ", he said sarcastically. 

"Spike, you never know." 

And with that she smiled one more time and left a very confused Spike standing alone in the graveyard.

"I sure am glad I decided to skip Passions tonight", Spike said to himself. And with that he started walking towards his crypt, with a slayer on his mind, and a kiss, one of a few from her, he'd never forget.

End part 1


	2. Anya the Annoying

The Wedding Invitation ****

The Spanish Wedding

Part 2

"Buffy! Anya's here! Get your butt down here now!" yelled Dawn from downstairs. 

Buffy was woken by the sound of her sister yelling at her from downstairs. What time is it? Buffy thought. It still looked dark out, could she have possibly slept the whole day? She glanced at her clock and saw the time- it was 5:00 am! What the hell was Anya doing here at five in the morning?! Buffy rolled out of bed and threw on her robe.

Dawn was standing at the front door, in her pajamas, looking thoroughly pissed. 

"Hola Buffy! My you look bad, may I suggest a brush and some nice tic tacs?"

"Anya, why are you at my house at 5:00 in the morning?! This is America, most normal people sleep at this time, and do their daily activities during the day..what country are you from?" she asked angrily. "And why are you speaking Spanish?" She was pissed because she had been woken from her dream of Spike and whipped cream, and whoa, Spike?! Where the hell did that come from? 

"Well Buffy, I read in a magazine that Spanish weddings are all the rage today, so I've decided to have a Spanish wedding, and well, Spanish people wake up early, and wear sombreros, and I find that very interesting."

"Anya, you're an ex-vengeance demon, why on earth would you have a Spanish wedding? Have you lost it? Does Xander know about this? I'm sure he would never go along with this", Buffy said.

"Well actually, he said that whatever makes me happy, makes him happy."

Buffy thought about this for a moment…

"That's actually very sweet of Xander to do", she said.

"Yes, he's my lil fajita, we actually tried to do it last night with hot sauce instead of the usual chocolate syrup and whipped cream we use.."

"Anya, that's enough, really, thanks for sharing." Buffy said. 

Wait a minute, whipped cream, Spike, mmmm..Bad thoughts Buffy, bad thoughts! She said to herself, referring back to her dream she was rudely awakened from. Dawn was now sleeping on the couch in the living room, the same one her mother had…let's not go there Buffy..Not now…

"Well Anya, Dawn is sleeping, and I think I could use a few more hours too, would you mind coming back later with Willow and Tara? Say around sometime after day break?" 

"Sometime after day break, got it!" Anya said, mostly to herself. "C'mon senoritas, let's get going!" she said to the three Spanish women she had with her. And with that they piled into the van, and left. 

Buffy was left in her house with a sleeping Dawn, and figured she could get a little more sleep herself. She covered the blanket over Dawn and walked up to her bedroom, turned off her lamp, and drifted off to sleep, with thoughts of a Spanish wedding, and a whipped cream covered Spike..

"WHAT!?" she yelled out loud to herself. 

End Part 2


	3. Undead Heart

The Wedding Invitation  ****

The Spanish Wedding 

Part 3

The sun was setting in Sunnydale. It set very early this time of year, it was January, and the vamps liked it and hated it at the same time. They were able to go out hunting earlier, but on the other hand, not that many people wanted to be out in 30 degree weather, and turtlenecks were a bitch, try to tear out a throat with one of them things on, Spike thought. However, he was not like most vampires. He was out, looking for trouble, a good fight to get him going, at least that's what he told himself. He knew the real reason he was out, walking up and down Revello Drive. 

"I can't believe she kissed me", he said out loud to himself. "I mean, yeah she's kissed me before, I mean there was the witch's spell we were under, but that's all that was, a spell. There was the time that I saved the Nibblet from that hell god bitch, and got my arse kicked good and proper, but that was more of a pity kiss than a real kiss. But last night, I dunno, it seemed different. She was also acting strangely last night." 

He decided that the best thing to do was to just go and ask Buffy himself. He made a quick turn and started heading for house number 16, when a big van with the name of Maria Conceta's Wedding Designs pulled into the driveway.

"Well what do you know, looks like the ex-demons having some sort of Spanish wedding, I'm actually glad I'm not invited to that", he said, thinking back to a time many years ago when he was in Spain with Dru, times he would like to forget. "Maybe I'll stick around, I mean a Slayer in a dress, this I've got to see." 

Thinking of Anya's wedding led Spike's thoughts back to the time when he and Buffy were to be wed. He remembered how they argued over the wedding invitations, and whether it should be a day or night service. He would have had a day wedding service even if it meant honeymooning as a big pile of dust; he would do anything to make her happy. Even though it was only the spell talking, he would've, and to this day, he still would. 

"C'mon Spike, let's not brood like that old grandsire of yours, let's go see what trouble can be caused at the Summer's home tonight." And with that, he headed for the back door of the Summers' home and let himself in.

End part 3


	4. Not Until You're Thirty

The Wedding Invitation  ****

Turquoise Dresses and Sombreros

Part 4

Dawn was sitting in the kitchen, skimming through one of Anya's many bridal magazines. She was interrupted from her reading by a peroxide blonde vampire who sneaked up on her from behind and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Hey there Nibblet, whatcha doin?" Spiked asked.

"Spike, you scared me! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Dawn said as she playfully slapped him on the arm. "You'll give me a heart attack and I'm not ready to die yet, I'm only fifteen and there's still a lot of things I want to do in life" said Dawn.

"Oh yeah, like get married?" Spike asks as he pointed to the magazines she was reading. "Don't you think you're a lil young to be getting married?" 

"Spike, shut up, they're not mine, they're Anya's, I was just looking through them" stated Dawn mater of factly. 

"Well lemme see some of the dress's you were looking at. You know I have an eye for fashion," Spike said while laughing.

"You are such a loser why do I talk to you?" asked Dawn. She grabs the magazine and starts flipping through the pages of dresses and stops at a beautiful lilac color one. "Okay, well I was thinking this would be a good dress for a junior bridesmaid" she said, "But…Anya didn't like it, she said it wasn't 'saucy' enough for her liking, so I guess that's out."

"Too bad" said Spike, "You would look very nice in it bit." 

"Thanks Spike, you really think so? Wow, I can't wait for my wedding, I'm going to let my bridesmaids wear these dresses. I can't wait" exclaimed Dawn.

"Hey now bit, you remember what Spike told you, no dating till your 30, so you still have a while to go."

"Yeah, yeah, between you and Buffy I'm never gonna have a boyfriend." 

Dawn's mention of Buffy brought Spike's thoughts back to the whole reason why he was sitting here looking at dresses with Dawn.

"Speaking of the Slayer, where is she?" asked Spike.

"Oh, her, Willow, and Tara are all getting fitted for their bridesmaids dress's now in the living room. Want to go have a look?" asked Dawn.

"Sure, I'd love to." And with that Dawn and Spike were headed for the living room, unaware of the crazy scene that was unfolding there. 

End Part 4


	5. Turquoise Dresses and Sombreros

The Wedding Invitation ****

Turquoise Dresses and Sombreros

Part 5

"I am not wearing that dress!" yelled Buffy. "God, Anya, these dress's are so tacky, do you have no taste?"

"What? Maria says these are in style, besides…" but Anya was cut off mid sentence by Buffy..

"Hot pink and turquoise are hardly wedding colors!" Buffy yelled back at Anya.

"Well, I like them, they're very saucy, besides, the bridesmaids have to look bad, I can't have any of you looking better than me on my wedding day!" 

"Anya, Buffy does have a point," added Tara. " I mean not to be mean, but these colors are a little…well…

"I look like a flamingo!" added Willow. 

"Well guess what, it's my Spanish Wedding, and what I say goes! Who's paying for all of this huh? The dress's, the limos, the catering hall, the piñata? I'll tell you who's paying for it!"

"Giles?" Buffy asked as if she knew the answer already.

"Well yes, he is, but it's only because I took over the shop for him while he went back to the land of rain and tweed" added Anya.

"Don't you think you're taking this whole Spanish Wedding thing a little too far maybe?" asked Willow. "I mean, I know you want to do this, and it's cool with us, really, but, um, sombrero's?" Willow asked as she pointed to the hot pink and matching diamond-studded sombreros that Maria Conceta was holding.

"Have you not read about any of the trends? I mean, I know you're gay and all, and probably not planning a wedding anytime soon, but I mean, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be up on what's happening in the world of bridal fashions" added Anya.

"Sometimes she makes me so angry!" Willow said to Tara. "I just want to turn her into a giant..peach!"

"Now baby, you don't want to do that, turning her into a peach will solve nothing…how about a banana?" asked Tara.

Willow turned to her lover and smiled, "You always know how to make me smile, even when I want to turn someone into a peach."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, Dawn and Spike had been watching the whole thing while laughing their heads off at the sight of Buffy in a tight turquoise dress.

"I can't believe she's gonna have to wear that!" Dawn said while laughing. "She looks ridiculous!"

"Now luv, don't go making fun of big sis, I think she looks beautiful, even if it is a horrendous dress" said Spike.

"Yeah I know, but, it's just so bright, and, hahahaha!" Dawn continued her laughing until she heard Anya's voice yell for her.

"Dawnie! C'mon get in here! It's time for your fitting!" yelled Anya.

The minute Anya said that Dawn's face turned from one of laughter to one of fear.

"No, don't make me go!" 

"Sucks for you bit, I'm bloody glad I wasn't invited to this wedding, at least _I_ don't have to wear a sombrero!" laughed Spike.

"I really hate you," said Dawn teasingly. And with that she was off to meet Maria Conceta and her assistants. 

Spike was ready to leave when he turned and ran right into the person he had been hoping to see.

"Spike? When did you get here? How long have you been here for? You didn't see the dress did you?" asked Buffy in a rushed sentence.

"Haha, would you like me to tell you I didn't?"

"Um, Yes."

"Well, then yes, I saw the whole thing, you and your livin la Vida loca dress." 

"I really can't stand you," said Buffy. But for some reason instead of just kicking him out, she asked out of nowhere, "Would you like to go get some coffee? I mean I know I've had plenty of bad experiences with coffee and guys in the past, none that I'd like to recall at the time, but I figured, hey why not, I'm asking you this time, so..would you like to go for coffee?" asked Buffy with an almost pleading look in her eye. 

Spike was stunned. "Yeah, Slayer, I'd like that, I mean, I never was much of a coffee drinker, but if they serve hot chocolate with them lil marshmallows like your mum used to make me, then I'm there" said Spike, who didn't even realize at the time that he had brought up Buffy's mom. 

"Yeah, my mom, you guys were actually friends..weird thought." She stopped for a moment and looked like she was going to cry, but stopped herself. "Well what are we waiting for? Let's go before Senorita Anya makes me shake some marracas," said Buffy.

"Alright, let's go."

They left through the back door without making a sound, and when they were already half way to the Expresso Pump, Anya yelled, "Buffy!? Where are you? I need you to try out these marraca's Maria gave me!" 

But Buffy was no where to be found. She was on her way to go get coffee, with the one person she never believed possible. 

End part 5


	6. Mini Marshmallows and Whipped Cream

Part 6 ****

Part 6

Buffy and Spike walked to the Expresso Pump in a somewhat awkward silence. Neither had said a word since they had left the craziness that was her house. Both of them were trying to figure out exactly what was going on between the two of them. Buffy recalled that it felt like the time they had made that truce to stop Angel so long ago. 

"So……." Said Spike, "Are we almost there?"

"Almost" answered Buffy.

"Right then."

And they walked the rest of the way in silence.

10 minutes later

Spike goes to open the door for Buffy, but quickly remembers the last time he tried to be polite, Captain Cardboard Spike.

"Not something I want to repeat," thought Spike. "That led to Dru coming back, which led to a cattle prodder and…" Spike was interrupted by Buffy 

" So where do you want to sit?"

"Um, well, there's a booth in the back it looks like, why don't we settle back there?" said Spike.

"OK, sure, great..um, you wanna get me a cappuccino?"

"Alright, you got money?" asked Spike.

"Excuse me?" asked Buffy 

"Money Slayer, just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I'm gonna pay" said Spike with his ever cocky grin.

"Grrr, you are such a pain" grumbled Buffy as she shelled a five out of her pocket.

"And you're the bloody thorn in my bloody side" said Spike.

As Spike walked up to the counter to get their drinks, Buffy started thinking about what the hell she was doing here..with Spike no less.

"I mean, we're somewhat friends now…he has really helped me the past few months cope with being brought back from the dead," thought Buffy. And he's always helping with Dawn..and he's always there for me, and he loves me and Oh my God I think I love him!" 

"Whoa, whoa, calm down Buffy..okay I don't know where that came from, but whoa, I *so* don't *love* Spike, I mean he's Spike…he's all peroxidey, and leathery, and whipped creamy, and Oh God no, not that again, *not* the dream…" thought Buffy frantically.

Buffy was interrupted from her thoughts by Spike returning with their drinks.

"Alright then, one hot chocolate with lil marshmallows for me, and one cappuccino for you" he said as he placed the drink in front of her.

"Oh and Buffy?" said Spike

"Yeah Spike?"

"I wasn't sure..did you want whipped cream on yours?"

"AHHHHHHHHH!!"

End Part 6


	7. Wedding Promises

Part 7 ****

Part 7

It's Wednesday night in Sunnydale. At Xander's apartment, Anya and Xander are sitting at home relaxing in front of the television. The wedding is only two weeks away, and the closer it gets, the crazier Anya gets.

"Oh Xander, Amigos is on!"

"Amigos? Anya, speak English here..I probably wouldn't have graduated high school if we hadn't blown it up…so not really quick with the other languages other than English, which I think I failed…" said Xander. 

"Amigos is Friends, you dumbass. Geez Xander, brush up on your Español, ****we are having a Spanish wedding in two weeks!" explained Anya.

"I can't believe I agreed to this..but I'd do anything to make you happy."

"I know you would, and that's why I love you so much. And because you love me so much and will do anything for me…" Anya tried to finish, but was cut off by Xander.

"How come I have a feeling I'm not gonna like what you say next?"

"Well Xander…"

" It can't be as bad as making our wedding song Livin la Vida Loca, An."

"Hey I love that song, Ricky is mi perra atractiva," exclaimed Anya.

****

"Me perra whata?" asked Xander.

"mi perra atractiva, it means my sexy bitch in Spanish."

"Your sexy bitch?! Anya, you do remember who you're getting married to in two weeks don't you?" asked Xander.

"Yes, I know, you're mi perra atractiva..so what about that favor?"

"Okay An, what is it?" asked Xander.

"Well, I got a call from Buffy this morning…"

"Buffy!? Is everything alright?" asked Xander.

"Si Xander, calm down, Buffy is fine, well, as fine as a person who's in love with Spike can be…"

"Wait, what huh!? Buffy loves Spike? Buffy and Spike? It can't be..are you sure it wasn't the Bot talking? Did it mention your money?"

"No honey, it was not the bot, it was the real Buffy, and yes she loves Spike."

"So I don't understand..what does this have to do with me and our wedding?" asked Xander suspiciously.

"Well….I was thinking you know, since you don't have a best man…."

"Oh no, no way! Spike is NOT, I repeat NOT coming to our wedding, let alone being my best man!" yelled Xander.

"Xander, you're being so unreasonable. I mean, how many times has Spike helped us all…he's saved your life countless times, my life too. And he truly loves Buffy and Dawn. Please baby..if not for me than for Buffy at least…I want her to be surprised." Said Anya.

"Fine, but I'm only doing it because I know it'll make you and Buffy happy."

"Gracias Xander! I love you so much!" said Anya as she hugged him.

"Love you too An, but only on one condition."

"What?"

"Spike has to wear a sombrero and dance the Macarena" laughed Xander.

End Part 7


	8. Every lick you take

Part 8 ****

Part 8

The sun had just set, and Spike was lying on the tomb in his crypt, just thinking. Thinking about that kiss, last night at the coffee shop, and how strange Buffy had been acting lately.

"Women…I've been around for over 120 years, and I still can't figure 'em out."

Spike was interrupted from his nagging thoughts of Buffy by a knock at his crypt door.

"Now who the hell would be knocking on my door? Must not want me dead, if they did, they woulda just came in already," thought Spike.

He walked over to the door, and opened it, but no one was there.

"Well, that's strange..wait, what am I talking about? This is a Hellmouth, stranger things have happened," said Spike.

Spike was about to close the door when he looked down and spotted a pink and turquoise sombrero shaped envelope just laying there on the floor, with *his* name on it.

"What the bloody hell is this?" said Spike.

He picked it up, and walked inside. He inspected it for a moment, but then decided to open it. He was in for the surprise of his life…

"_Xander Harris and Anya soon to be Harris ask of your presence at their Wedding Fiesta on the Twenty Second of January, Two Thousand and Two. Reception starts at Sundown at the Sunnydale Sombrero Society. For directions, and if allergic to tacos, please call Anya at 555-1387. R.S.V.P by January 1st." _Spike read aloud. 

"What is this? This has to be some sort of a joke…bloody lame one if you ask me…alright, you got me, c'mon out," yelled Spike. But no one came out. He looked into the envelope and saw that there was another paper in there. 

He started reading, "_Spike,_ _trust me, I am so regretting this right now, but I have no choice…I want you to be my best man. You're probably laughing your head off right now, and laugh all you want, but I'm serious. I want you to come to our wedding. Anya wants you there, Dawn wants you there, hell even *I* want you there, but the one person who really wants you there is none other than Buffy herself."_

"Oh he's got to be kidding…" thought Spike, and continued to read.

"_And no, Spike, I'm not kidding. I'm being serious bricklayer now. We have a tux for you and a sombrero, so you don't need to buy anything, well, maybe a brush, but.."_

"Bloody hell I have good hair! It's the poof who has the bad hair!" yelled Spike.

__

"Just give us a call, wait, you don't have a phone so that wont happen…so just stop by my place or the magic box..and Spike? Don't tell Buffy…it's a surprise." And with that Spike read the last and was even more confused than before.

"Buffy wants me there? The Slay…*Buffy* wants me there! But why? And now I have to look like a nancy boy in a tux…but who cares? Buffy wants me there!" yelled Spike with a smile on his face, a smile he's never smiled before in his life…one of pure happiness.

He was about to go over to Xander's and talk to him about the wedding when he saw a small business card fall out of the envelope.

"Enrico's Casa de la danza, Enricos house of dance," translated Spike. And on the back there was writing, "Spike-call him, because you gotta learn the Macarena in on week-Xander," read Spike. "What the bloody hell is the Macarena???"

At the Summers' home, dinner was being eaten, but Buffy could do anything but eat.

"Buffy, what's wrong, why aren't you eating the spaghetti I made?" asked Dawn. "Is it not good?" she asked with hurt in her eyes.

"No Dawn, no, it's not that, it's delicious I'm sure.." said Buffy. "But, I can't really eat right now, I have a lot on my mind."

"Like…..?" asked Dawn.

"Like things you wouldn't understand," said Buffy.

"Buffy, I can't stand this! You treat me like I'm a child! I'm fifteen! And I've really matured a lot over the past year! I mean, losing your mother and and your sister and figuring out you've been alive for less than a year can do that to you," said Dawn harshly.

"Dawn, please not now…" pleaded Buffy.

"I'm sorry, it's just…please tell me?"

"Okay, I'm sorry, you're right I shouldn't be keeping things from you…It's Spike…" started Buffy.

"Spike! Is he okay? You didn't hurt him did you?" asked Dawn almost accusingly.

"No, Dawn, calm down, Spike's fine, god Spike is fine…" said Buffy, "Too fine," she thought.

"So, then what it is?"

"Well, I think I'm falling in lov.." said Buffy, but was cut off by Dawn.

"Love!? You L-O-V-E S-P-I-K-E?!" asked Dawn.

"Yes, I think I do, I really think I do."

"Oh my god! This is great!" exclaimed Dawn. "I mean he loves you, you love him, and wow you LOVE Spike!"

Buffy laughed, for once she was happy. Happy with her life, the way things were going, and she smiled, a smile she hadn't smiled in a long time..a smile of love.

"Well Dawn, I think it's time to clean up."

"No, not yet..this calls for celebration!" cheered Dawn.

"Celebration…Dawn, Spike doesn't even know how I feel about him…he probably still thinks I hate his guts," said Buffy.

"Don't go all doom and gloom on me…while you were out patrolling tonight, I had the time to make something."

"Really..wow my little sis is very domestic isn't she?"

"Well, it's nothing really…just a simple pie," said Dawn.

"Mmmmm, I love pie, what kind?" asked Buffy anxiously.

"Chocolate and whipped cream."

"Whi..Whipped cream?!" yelled Buffy.

But instead of getting upset..she smiled, stuck her finger in her piece, and licked the whipped cream off her finger, naughty thoughts of Spike going through her head.

"How is it?" asked Dawn.

"Yummier than you could everimagine," said Buffy. And with that, she continued to eat, with Spike in her mind with every lick she took.


	9. Snoopy Pajamas and Truces

Part 9 ****

Part 9

The next day….

"Bloody hell! Open up already! You don't want the best man to be a pile of dust now do you? What would the guests think of that?" yelled a blanket covered Spike.

Inside Xander's apartment, Xander had been sleeping, but was rudely awakened by Spike's yelling through the door.

"C'mon now Harris, I can hurt ya! Got that bloody chip out now, and I swear, if you don't open this door in one second I'll.."

Just then the door flew open and Xander was standing there in his Charlie Brown and Snoopy pajamas, looking pissed.

"Spike, shut up, you wouldn't hurt me, if you did, you'd have to deal with an extremely pissed off Anya, which, no one wants to deal with," said Xander. "So what are you doing here?"

"You *did* send me an invitation you stupid bloke. Remember?" asked Spike, very annoyed.

"Oh yeah, that..come on in Spike, but don't try anything funny."

"Oh don't worry, the only funny thing here is your pajamas," laughed Spike.

"Not a word to anyone, or you'll end up as the dusty best man."

"Ohhh, I'm shaking with fear," said Spike sarcastically.

Once inside, Spike threw the blanket onto the couch and walked straight to the fridge.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked Xander.

"What does it look like I'm doin? I'm makin myself some of em lil spicy wings you bloody idiot," said Spike as he opened up the frozen chicken wings box and popped them into the microwave. "Probly gonna be here a while, might as well have myself a snack."

"You are one strange vampire," said Xander.

"You wouldn't happen to have any blood would you? Noticed the wheetabix in your cabinet.."

"Spike that's enough…no blood…let's just talk about the wedding.

"4,3,2,1, ding!" yelled Spike as he opened up the microwave. "I love these things, bloody genius whoever invented em."

Spike and Xander walked over to the couch to sit. Once there, the awkward talking began.

"Ya know, one might consider this to be a friend thing…but we're not friends, right?" asked Xander.

"Bloody hope not, I mean, I can't go around bein friends with a poof wannabe who wears dog pajamas."

"Hey, these aren't just some dog pajamas, these are Snoopy pajamas Mr.! Learn the difference!" yelled Xander.

"Right then, let's just get this clear, we're not friends, we're just here because of one thing, the wedding and Buffy..we are NOT friends," said Spike, almost as if he was trying to convince himself more than Xander.

"Yeah, we're not amigos…friends..man, now Anya has me talking Spanish too."

"Women, I'll never understand em."

"Me either. Hey Spike?" asked Xander.

"Yeah Harris?"

"Can I have a wing?"

"Sure" said Spike.

"Ya know Spike, I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship."

"Yeah, me too Harris, me too."

And with that they continued on talking about everything, the wedding, Buffy, Anya, the best man's job, they even planned the Bachelor party. Hours passed by and finally at sunset, Spike said his final good byes to Xander.

"Hey Harris, just wanted to let ya know I had a pretty good time today."

"Me too Spike, never thought you and me would be able to sit together in a room for more than five minutes without killing each other," said Xander.

"Truce?" asked Spike.

"Truce," said Xander.

And with that, Spike was off, on his way back to his crypt, with a smile on his face, one that had been showing up more than usual lately. And he didn't mind it at all.

End Part 9


	10. The Maid of Honour

Part 10 ****

Part 10

It was a beautiful day in Sunnydale. The wedding was a week away, and the whole gang minus Buffy and Spike were gathered at the Magic Box.

"I don't even know how to work the register," complained Willow as she tried to get it open.

"It's actually quite simple," explained Anya. "See, the customers hand you the money, you hit the amount in, and then ching, ching, you put the money in the box."

"Ohhh, well now that explains it all," said Willow sarcastically.

"Yes, I know, I am a whiz when it comes to money," replied Anya happily.

"Tell me why I'm even working the register again?" asked Willow.

"Willow, I am too busy, my fiesta is a week away, and me and Xander have preparations to make."

"Yes, because picking out what candy to put in the piñata is such hard work," added Xander.

"Xander, shut up! Unless I won't roll you up into that human taco and smother you in hot sauce like you wanted me too," said Anya.

"An, how many times have I told you? Not in public, please?" pleaded Xander.

"Okay my lil fajita..so how did it go with Spike yesterday?"

"Actually, better than I thought it would," said Xander. "He's now officially the best man, and I guess you could even call us friends."

"Wow, I'm glad things worked out well with you two," added Tara.

"Yeah me too," said Willow. "Because, I've always had a soft spot for Spike, and I'm glad we're finally excepting him as a scooby."

"Wait a sec Will, no one said anything about him becoming a scooby," argued Xander. "I mean, not everyone can just become a scooby, it's a long and hard process, with lots of tests and tricky forms to fill out."

"Xander..Spike is a part of the gang now, he's our friend..remember, this is for Buffy," said Willow.

"I, I never had to take any tests," said Tara.

"Willow, I know your were looking forward to be my maid of honour and all…"

"Oh yea Anya, I get the privilege of wearing a hot pink dress and a diamond studded sombrero, whoo hoo! Wouldn't give it up for the world," said Willow sarcastically.

Anya , not catching on to Willow's sarcasm, said "Well Willow, I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but you are no longer my maid of honour."

"Really! I'm not!? Yes!" squealed Willow. After getting strange looks from the gang, she quickly said, "Oh man, that's too bad."

"Yes, see you will not be the maid of honor anymore because I've decided that Buffy will be the maid of honour, since Spike is the best man..it'll be the perfect opportunity for them to have to be around each other," explained Anya.

"So, does that mean I get to wear the turquoise dress?" asked Willow.

"Why yes, you do, you and Buffy will switch dresses."

"Yes! Now I won't look like a pink flamin…" but she stopped when she saw a hurt look come into Anya's eyes, "The turquoise brings out my eyes and my hair so much better," Willow said.

"Yes, I agree. So it's settled. Buffy is now the maid of honour!" exclaimed Anya.

"Buffy is now the what?!" yelled Buffy as she walked into the Magic Box.

"Oh, hey Buff," said Xander.

"Hello my new maid of honour! Can I call you my maid of honour? Wow, this will be so great..now you get to wear the hot pink dress and the matching sombrero!" exclaimed Anya.

Just then Giles walked out of the back room, hot fudge sundae in hand.

"Willow, where'd that can of whipped cream go? I need it to put on my sundae," asked Giles.

Willow was about to answer, but was distracted by a loud bang.

"Oh my god Buffy!" yelled Xander.

Buffy had fainted, it was too much for her to handle. First, the news of her being maid of honour, then the fact that Giles wanted *whipped cream.*

"Spike" was the last thing she muttered before she slipped into blackness.

End Part 10


	11. Dancing Lessons

Part 11 ****

Part 11

Forty-Five minutes had passed until Buffy finally came to.

"I think she's waking up," said Xander. "Finally, I thought I was gonna have go to the last resort."

"Which is?" asked Tara.

"Having her smell my armpits…works like a charm every time," proclaimed Xander.

"Ewwww much?" said Dawn.

"Xander, that was just disturbing," said Giles. "But let's focus on Buffy now, we need to see if she's alright."

"Okay Mr. Party pooper, always have to ruin my fun, don't ya" said Xander. "You've been home from England for, what, two hours now, and already I'm in trouble."

Giles continued to ignore Xander, and concentrated on Buffy.

"Buffy, Buffy, it's Giles, can you hear me?"

"Giles?" asked Buffy.

"Yes, it's me, and I'm sure you want to know what I'm doing here, and well, I'm back from England, I just got home today."

"No, actually, I was going to ask you where you put the whipped cream can," said a dazed Buffy before she slipped back into unconsciousness. 

"Dear, this is worse than I thought. Has she been acting this strangely the past couple of days?" asked Giles.

"Yeah, she has," said Willow. "But, we figured it out Giles, not that much research involved either. And there's no easy way of saying this, but…"

"Buffy loves Spike," blurted Anya.

"Buffy…love..loves…" said Giles shocked.

"Oh dear, maybe we shouldn't have told him," said Tara.

All of a sudden, there was another loud bang, and Giles fainted to the floor.

"Well..that was interesting…who's up for some ice cream?" asked Xander.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at his crypt, Spike was nervously pacing the room around in circles. 

"I can't believe she loves me," said Spike. "I mean, the Slayer, in love with William the Bloody."

Spike was distracted from his thoughts when he heard a knock on his crypt door.

"I've sure as hell have been getting a lot of those lately," thought Spike. 

He walked over to answer it, but before he could reach the knob, a man came barging in with at least five helpers, and started setting up speakers.

"What the bloody hell is going on 'ere? What does this look like to you, a bloody circuit city?" asked a very ticked off Spike.

"Ahhh, you must be the best man…Hola, Mi nombre es Enriqo. I have come to teach you the art of Spanish dancing."

"Listen mate, I don't need no dancing lessons," explained Spike.

"No, eh? The groom tells me you do…you and the lovely maid of honour will be dancing plenty at the Fiesta," explained Enriqo.

"Maid of Honour? Ohh, the witch..that's alright mate, I insist, no dancing lessons."

"The witch? Is that the red head?" asked Enriqo.

"Yea, what's it to you?"

"Well my amigo, there has been a change of plans. A Miss, eh, Buffy is now the Maid of Honour," he said while reading a piece of paper that was given to him by Xander.

"She is?" asked Spike, half suspiciously, and half with hope in his heart that this wedding may be worth it after all. He grabbed the paper out of his hands, and quickly read until he saw her name written next to maid of honour.

"Si, she is, and you must learn how to dance with her."

"Me an her don't need no dancing lessons…that's all we've ever done.." said Spike, reminiscing about that night where he opened his weak and vulnerable heart up to her, and told her all about his bloody awful past.

"Well, Senor Harris has asked me to do this, so I must!" 

"Alright then, where do we start?" asked Spike.

"Well, I will teach you to do the tango, the Samba, and many others, but let's start off easy, shall we?"

"Right then, what dance?"

"The Macarena."

"Bloody hell!"

****

End Part 11


	12. Tightie Whities

Part 12 ****

Part 12

In Spike's crypt, the music of Los Del Rio was blasting, and Spike was trying to learn the moves to the stupid dance.

"Now, one and a two and a three Macarena!" sang Enriqo.

"One, two..bloody hell man! I can't do this ridiculous dance!" yelled Spike.

"Si, you can Spike, just try. Right arm first, then left arm, just follow my lead."

"The things I'll do to impress a woman," thought Spike.

"C'mon now, let's pick up the pace a little..start to swing your hips and sing with me! One, and a two, and a three Macarena…" sang Enriqo.

After a couple of times, Spike finally started getting the hang of it.

"Hey mate! I can do this..one, and a two, and a three Macarena," sang Spike. "This is bloody easy, any fool can do this."

Once Spike started getting the hang of it, he started to sing along with Enriqo, visions of Buffy dancing the Macarena through his head.

"I am not trying to seduce you…actually I am" thought Spike. "Come and find me, my name is Macarena always at the the party con las chicas que soy buena come join me, dance with me and you fellows chant along with me. Move with me, chant with me And if you're good, I'll take you home with me," sang Spike. "I'll more than just take you home with me," thought a devilish Spike.

"Good, Spike, good..now the next part…swing your hips and shake you booty!" yelled Enqiqo.

"Bloody hell…." Growled Spike.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, back in the Magic Box….

"Buffy, I thought we talked about this, no more vampires!" said Giles.

"I know, Giles, I know, I didn't mean for this to happen, it just did…I didn't mean to fall in love with him," said Buffy.

"Did, any of you see this coming? Any signs that Buffy was falling for Spike?" Giles asked to the scoobs.

'No, none at all..it just kinda happened, like wham!" said Willow.

"Yeah, same here, I mean, the Buffster falling for the Spikester, never thought I'd see that day come," said Xander.

"Well, actually….I did," Anya said last. "I mean, there has always been so much sexual energy between them..and I knew it was bound to happen one of these days…They really need to release those feelings with some sexual healing," explained Anya.

"So, you saw me falling for him, and you didn't say anything to me?" asked Buffy.

"Sexual Feeling, sexual..healing…." sang Anya. "Oh, Buffy, um..did you want something?" asked Anya once she got out of her sex mode.

"Never mind Anya, never mind," said Buffy.

"Well, you know I shall support whatever decision you make, but if he ever pulls another stunt like chaining you up and threatening your life, then I'll show him a piece of my mind," said Giles in his Ripper-esque mode.

"Wow, that must be fascinating," said Anya.

"What's fascinating?" asked Tara.

"Giles, actually showing Spike a piece of his mind…I mean that's gross, because, eww, brain, and Giles has a lot of that…but wouldn't it hurt to actually have to cut off part of your head just to show Spike a piece of your mind…Is Spike really worth the scars?" asked a confused Anya.

"Alright An, I think it's time we head home and have out lesson on literal and figurative speech," said Xander.

"Oh, can you teach me while having intercourse, I learn best under pressure…literally…" said a laughing Anya.

"That was actually funny Anya..and made sense," said Giles.

"Giles, don't worry about me, it will all work out fine..besides, you know I could kick his ass anyday..and if he ever tries anything with the chains again…" said Buffy. 'Although I wouldn't mind him chaining me up' she thought with a devilish grin. "I would end it in a heartbeat," she said finishing up her sentence to Giles.

"Very good then, let's move on, shall we?" asked Giles.

"Yes, we shall..Anya, please explain to me why I am now the Maid of Honour?" asked Buffy.

"Well…umm…"

"She figured that since you've saved our lives and died doing it that you deserved the honor of being the maid of honour," Tara said, quickly covering up for Anya's lack of thought.

"Yes, that's right, thank you Tara!" said Anya, covering up.

"Well..okay, thanks Anya, I think. Listen guys, I better get going, I have to cook dinner and Dawn has homework to finish," said Buffy while staring at her sister.

"Oh man, why can't I stay here and hang out with the gang, I mean it's not like I'm gonna be a Giles when I grow up," pouted Dawn.

"Hey, being a Giles is a good thing!" answered Giles.

"Ahh yes, the art of reading a book..fascinating," joked Dawn.

"Bye guys, I'll see you tomorrow!" yelled Buffy as she made her way out the front entrance of the Magic Box.

"Okay, good, she's gone," said Xander. "Now, we have some explaining to do."

"I would sure say you do," said Giles. "Let's start from the beginning..a Spanish Wedding?" asked Giles.

"Don't ask," said Willow. "It's worse than you could ever have imagined. And you Father of the Bride, get to wear the special orange and yellow satin suit!" said Willow with fake enthusiasm.

"Oh dear…" said Giles.

"Okay, well, let's move on..what's the real reason for Buffy being the Maid of Honour..I thought you were supposed to be Willow," asked Giles.

"Well, I was..but…there was a slight change in plans. It all started when Anya got a call from Buffy saying that she was in love with Spike…." Said Willow. 

"I need a drink," said Giles.

15 minutes later…

"So let me get this straight..Anya, you are having a Spanish wedding because it sounds 'neat'…Spike is now the Best Man and Buffy the Maid of Honour because they love each other…Spike knows, but Buffy doesn't because it's a surprise…Spike is taking dancing lessons as we speak…and I have to wear an orange and yellow satin suit," said Giles. 

"Well, yes.." said Anya.

"This isn't strong enough..Xander would you be so kind and go in the back and get me the bottle of vodka," asked a half way drunk Giles.

"Okay, sure thing G-man!"

"DON'T call me that!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, please explain to me again why we have to do a patrol, right by Spike's crypt?" asked Dawn.

"Because,um,well…"

"Just spit it out Buffy, we all know..you want to see him because you love him!" said Dawn.

"Yes, okay, okay, I think about him every single second," admitted Buffy.

"Okay, well then, what are you waiting for, go knock on his door," said Dawn.

"You know what, I think I will!" exclaimed Buffy.

She knocked once on the door, and got no answer. So she knocked again, but this time she heard the faintest sound of music.

"Spike..listening to music?"

Buffy opened the crypt door very quietly so that she wouldn't be seen or heard by him, but what she saw was something she never thought possible.

"Oh, my, god.." said a speechless Buffy.

There was Spike, in his boxer briefs, dancing and singing the Macarena in his crypt, with a giant sombrero on.

"Hey….Macarena!!!!" shouted an almost naked sombrero wearing Spike.

"Oh my god!" whispered Buffy. She quickly exited without being seen, but was left breathless and shocked.

"Buffy what's wrong? Buffy what is it? Is Spike alright?" asked a worried Dawn.

"I..he…tightie whities….singing….sombrero," Buffy said out of breath.

It clicked with Dawn that they should leave before Buffy pieced together why Spike was singing the Macarena in a sombrero.

"I think we should go," said Dawn. "It's getting late."

"Yeah, home," said Buffy. 

They walked together back to 16 Revello Drive, mostly in silence. When they reached the front porch, Buffy chose to speak.

"Dawn, do you have any idea why in the world Spike was dancing around in a sombrero?"

"Well, uh..he made me promise not to tell anyone, but I guess I can tell you since you're like in love with him and all," said a lying Dawn. "Well, you know how he has his weekly Passions nights?"

"Yeah," said Buffy.

"Well, uh, Friday is the night where he gets out his best underwear and sings bad songs," Dawn lied quickly.

"Oh, I see. Dawn, I have to ask you something, and please give me a truthful answer."

"Um, yeah sure..what is it Buffy?" Dawn asked, feeling for sure she had been caught, and that Buffy had figured out their secret.

"Okay, well don't laugh, but, am I sick because I thought what he was doing was totally sexy?" 

End Part 12


	13. Cakes and Hooters

Part 13 ****

Part 13

"I can't believe it," Anya said as she snuggled closer to her soon to be husband. "Five days until our wedding, until I'm Mrs. Anya Harris."

"I know An, I can't believe it either, it seems just like yesterday that you came into our lives trying to destroy our world," Xander said with a laugh.

"Haha, very funny Mr., I wasn't trying to destroy your world, I was just doing my job," said Anya.

"I know, but we shouldn't be arguing about this now…we should have no worries, because we'll be getting married in five days, and then we'll have the rest of our lives to argue with each other," Xander said as he kissed Anya's forehead.

"Oh, I have to get up now, I have a long night ahead of me," said Anya.

"Why, what are you doing tonight that I don't know about?" asked Xander.

"Why, tonight is my bachelor party! And you are not invited!" Anya said with a gleam in her eye.

"Bachelor party, huh An? I think you mean Bachelorette," Xander laughed. "And that works out perfect, because tonight just happens to be my bachelor party."

"Well, mine is at Buffy's, where are you having yours?" Anya asked.

Xander, looking very embarrassed said, "The local Hooters off the highway…Spike rented out the back room for us."

"Hooters!?" yelled Anya

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that day..

"Is everything ready for tonight?" Buffy asked Willow.

"Yup, everything a Spanish Bachlorette Party could need…people, presents, tacos, hot sauce, music, cake, and of course, the special guest that pops out of the cake…" Willow said with a devilish grin.

"Who's going to pop out of a cake?" asked a confused Dawn.

"Oh my, I forgot, where am I gonna send Dawn, she can't stay here..she's not old enough to witness this…" said Buffy as she was thinking of a place she could send Dawn.

"Umm, well…" started Willow.

"Spike!" yelled Buffy.

"Wait, Spike's going to jump out of the cake?" asked a once again confused and slightly amused Dawn.

"No, Spike is *not* jumping out of the cake," said Buffy. "I wish he was though," she started thinking. "Spike, cake, whipped cream, Spike covered in whipped cream…mmmmm…"

"Whipped Cream!?" Buffy screamed out loud. 

"Whipped Cream, Buffy what are you talking about?" asked Dawn.

"It's a sign, what else could it be?" Buffy asked, mostly to herself.

"Does she usually have this reaction to whipped cream?" asked Tara.

Buffy, finally snapping out of her whipped cream covered Spike funk, said, "Listen, Dawn, you're going to have to stay at Spike's tonight until the party is over."

Willow, quickly realizing that this was not a good idea because Spike was going to be at Xander's bachelor party tonight and if Buffy knew that Spike was at Xander's party, she would know he was going to the wedding, and that would ruin the whole plan. So she said the first thing she could think of.

"Why don't you just let Dawnie stay here? I mean, c'mon Buffy, she's fifteen years old, I think she's old enough and mature enough for it," Willow said, looking at Tara for some back up.

"Yea, I agree Buffy. Dawn is old and is very mature for her age. And besides, if there's anything we feel she shouldn't see, we can just send her up to her room," Tara added.

"Well, I guess, but why not Spike?" asked Buffy suspiciously.

"Buffy, listen…now that I know you love Spike, do you really think I'm gonna be able to be around him without telling him? We tell each other everything, and not telling him that you love him would make me a liar, and I would feel like I'm keeping this big secret, and…." Dawn was trying to think of more reasons before Buffy interrupted her.

"Okay, Dawn, I understand, and thank you," Buffy said. "I know you realize that I want to be the one to tell Spike, and I really appreciate you letting me have that chance. So I guess you're stuck with us girls tonight!" Buffy said.

"Yeah, and it will be fun, and I am sooo old enough to see someone jump out of a cake..I mean, what's the big deal anyway?" asked Dawn.

"Dawnie, I think we need to have a little talk," Buffy said, and motioned for Willow and Tara to help her out.

Fifteen minutes later…

"Ewwww! You actually pay for some guy to jump out of a cake and get naked?" asked a disgusted Dawn.

"Yes, it's sad, but true," said Buffy.

"You guys are so weird!" said Dawn.

"Umm, Dawnie, I'm sure you'll feel differently after you've seen the guy," said Willow with a smile on her face.

"Hey!" Tara said as she nudged Willow. "Let's not be checking out guys now honey."

"Baby, trust me, you'll be straight once you see the guy we hired..he's gorgeous," Willow said with a longing look in her eye.

"And to keep in theme with the Spanish wedding," Buffy said, "He's a Ricky Martin, Enrique Iglesias look-alike."

"Oh, I'm starting to like this," Tara said.

"Did you say Ricky Martin look-alike?!?" Dawn screamed, only the scream a teenager could.

"Yeah," Buffy said.

And with that Dawn fainted and landed on the couch.

"What's with you guys and fainting?" Willow asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't believe you convinced me into coming to this..this testosterone male overloaded place," Giles said, thoroughly embarrassed by being seen in a Hooters restaraunt.

"C'mon now watcher, when was the last time you've been to a Hooters?" Spike asked.

"Um, well, never," Giles admitted. "When you told me Xander's bachelor party was being held at "Hooters" I thought you meant it had something to do with a bird, which intrigued me because I thought maybe we were going bird watching or something to that extent, but then I thought, this is Xander, so that's not going to happen."

"Haha, Rupes, your not a wise one are you?" Spike laughed. "Have you been living under a rock?"

"Well, um, I.." 

"Hell, I've been living in a rock basically, and I know what Hooters is. Surely you must have been to one of these back in your Ripper days?" Spike asked.

"Why would you think I would ever go to a Hoot.." started Giles, but was cut off by his own memories of him and Joyce Summers acting like teenagers because of the tainted candy, and not only having sex, but having dinner that night at a Hooters restraunt, this very one off the highway.

"Well?" asked a very amused Spike.

"Never mind," Giles said. "That story is for another place and time, right now we must focus on getting everything ready for Xander's party."

"Well, what bloody friends of his are coming?" Spike asked.

"Um well, there's.."

"Let me guess, a bunch of his brick layer buddies," Spike said. "This should be fun."

"Yes, well, Xander will be here in an hour, so we have to make sure that everything's…" Giles started to say but both him and Spike were distracted by the beautiful blonde that walked through the party room door.

"Hey there! Welcome to Hooters! I'm Barbie, and I'm going to be your party hostess tonight! Is there anything I can get for you boys?" she asked in a high pitched happy voice.

"Oh, my, well, I think it would be breast…" Giles said but then caught his slip when he got an odd look from Barbie.

"Best…I think it would be best if we waited for the rest of the guests and the guest of honor," Giles said, very embarrassed. 

"Okay, how about you cutie?" she asked Spike.

"Nah, I'm good, but thanks luv," he winked at her. Yes, she was attractive, and definitely well racked, but she was nothing compared to Buffy..his love.

"Okay, well I'll be back soon, if there is anything…anything I can do," she said to Giles, "Just tell me, and I'll be at your service." 

And with that Barbie turned to leave, but not before she blew a kiss to Giles.

"Oh, my…."

"I think she likes ya Watcher," Spike said. "Never knew you were such a ladies man."

"Spike?"

"Yea Watcher?"

"I am forever grateful to you for suggesting Hooters as the place for the party."

End Part 13


	14. Dances and Hot Sauce: Part 14A

Part 14 ****

Part 14

"Anya should be here any minute now!" Willow exclaimed.

Ding, Dong, the doorbell rang.

"Oh that's her! Lemme get it!" Buffy yelled.

Buffy ran to open the door, and when she opened it, was greeted with over twenty people standing on her front porch.

"Ummm, can I help you?" Buffy asked.

"Buffy! Buffy!" Anya yelled from behind a tall Spanish woman. 

"Anya? Is that you?" Buffy yelled.

"Yes, it is me, and these are some of Maria's friends," Anya explained. "I invited them to come to the party since she has helped me out so much with the wedding. Plus, I wanted more gifts."

"Anya, we don't have room for all of these people in my house!" Buffy yelled as Anya finally made her way up to the door. It was true, there wasn't enough room for all of them, her living room could fit about 12, and some of these women were, uh, slightly heavy.

"Yes we can, we will just have to squish," Anya said. "Or we can just let them hang out in the kitchen, they should feel right at home there."

"Usted pequeña perra!" yelled one of the ladies in Spanish, one of the heavy ladies.

"Huh?" asked Anya. "Wait where are you going?!" 

But it was too late, two of Maria's friends turned to leave and started to walk away.

"Was it something I said?" Anya asked, oblivious to the fact that she had out right insulted them in front of everyone.

"Si, it was Anya…they just called you a little bitch," Maria said.

"Ohhh, I am not their little bitch, I am Xander, and only Xander's bitch," Anya said with a playful look on her face.

"I think they're mad because you just said they could hang out in the kitchen, and well, they're a little overweight, so they took it as an insult," Tara explained.

"Oh, well, I was just being honest..I mean they were a little chunky, were they not?" 

"Two down, eighteen to go," thought Buffy.

"So Buffy, if I have not insulted anyone else as of yet, can they please stay?" Anya asked.

"Okay Anya, it's your party," Buffy reluctantly said.

"Good, alright Senoritas, let's go!" Anya yelled, as all of them tried to shove in the door at once.

"Could this night get any worse?" Buffy asked to Willow.

She didn't know the answer then, but yes, it was about to get much worse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Xander, man, what a place to have a party!" yelled Steve, one of his construction worker friends.

"Yeah, well you don't have me to thank, you have my good friend Spike here," Xander said as he pointed to Spike, who was sitting by a table in the corner of the room, having a beer by himself.

"I've never seen him around before," Steve said.

"Then why don't I introduce you two?" Xander asked.

Xander and Steve walked over to the table where Spike was sitting, and tried to start up a conversation.

"Hi, I'm Steve, a friend of Xander," Steve said. "So you threw this big party for him, huh? You two must be real close."

"No, really, it was nothing, I was just doing a favor for an old pal of mine," Spike said as he glared at Xander.

"Spike, can I talk to you for a minute?" Xander asked as he grabbed him by the arm.

"Bloody hell! What's wrong with you now? None of the Hooters girls giving you any attention?" Spike said.

"Actually, no, they're all over Giles…listen, Spike, you threw me this great party, just try to be normal for a night and act like a human…talk, interact with others," Xander pleaded.

"Bloody hell alright…I'll try, but I'm only doin it cause I don't want you to kick me out of the wedding party..then I won't get my chance to surprise the slayer at the wedding. Plus, I didn't take those bloody ridiculous dancing classes for nothing, eh?"

"Good, Spike," Xander said as if he was talking to a dog, and was tempted to mess up his hair, but knew if he did that then Spike would probably vamp out and then the party would end, and Xander really wanted to see the strippers.

Half an Hour later…

The music was basting and Spike had to admit, he was having a good time. Or at least, better than he ever thought he could have at the bricklayer's bachelor party.

"Harris, I gotta say, this party isn't that bad so far," Spike admitted.

"See Spike, I knew you would have fun, you just gotta try."

Spike continued dancing, and with every Hooters waitress he danced with, all he thought of was Buffy. The way she moved when she danced, how hot she looked when she just let herself go, how erotic she could be. 

"Hell, she would even look sexy mowing the lawn-wait no scratch that," Spike thought. 

"Mowing the lawn in a g-string and baby tee." Now that was better. 

All the thoughts of the slayer and dancing led his mind back to that night where he had first laid eyes on her. She was dancing oh so seductively at The Bronze with a bunch of her Scoobies. The minute he saw her, he knew he had to have her. In a sick, twisted sort of way, he had loved her, even back then.

"I'm drowning in you Summers." Spike's voice played it over and over in his mind. That was the night he had told her that he was in love with her.

"You think we're dancing?" asked Buffy's voice in his head.

"That's all we've ever done," Spike's voice answered.

"Come in Spike," Buffy's voice said to him.

"I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man," said Spike's voice.

"Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you."

"I…love you"

"I've gotta go find her," Spike said to himself.

He turned and headed for the door, but was unable to get out because someone was coming in.

"Watch out, coming through!" Barbie yelled, a very large tray of wings in hand.

"Are those wings?" Spike asked to Barbie.

"Why yes they are cutie."

"I think I'll stay just a few more minutes," Spike said to himself, and grabbed a plate and loaded up on the wings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, at Buffy's the party was underway and things had been going as well as they could considering she had to make food and seating arrangements for ten people more.

"Dawn, help me fold the tacos," Buffy asked her sister.

"Alright, can I try one though first?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah, sure, you can tell me if I put enough meat in," Buffy said.

Dawn took a bite and immediately looked repulsed, and spit the taco out.

"Dawn what's wrong?" Buffy asked, refusing to believe it was her cooking that was bad.

"Buffy, what did you put in these tacos?" Dawn asked as she ran to get a glass of water.

"Umm, the usual, meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato, hot sauce…"

"Hot sauce? Why did you put hot sauce on the tacos? Dawn asked.

"Well, Anya told me to spice it up a little," Buffy said.

"How much did you use?"

"Only a bottle per taco," Buffy said as if nothing was wrong.

"A bottle? Are you serious? You're gonna burn our insides here!"

"How many have you made so far?" Dawn asked.

"Umm…forty," Buffy said quietly.

"Forty!? Buffy, you can't serve people these tacos, they'll get sick," Dawn said.

"But look at it this way," Buffy said. "Then we'll chase em out, and we'll actually have room to sit on our own couch."

"Buffy, we can't do that, they're Anya's friends..actually, they're not Anya's friends, but I have a better idea," Dawn said.

"Well please share, because I have eighteen hungry Spanish ladies out there waiting for a stripper who hasn't shown up yet and their food."

"Just go to taco bell, order forty 99 cent chalupas, and they'll never know the difference," Dawn said.

"Dawn, I love you! You're a genius!" Buffy yelled as she hugged her sis. "I owe you big time."

"I know, I know, and you can repay me later, but now you have to try to get home in time for the 'cake', wouldn't want you to miss the Ricky look-alike that is gonna jump out," Dawn said.

"I can't believe I'm gonna let you witness that," Buffy laughed. "When I was fifteen, I was slaying vampires, not anticipating a knock on the door from some stripper to jump out of a cake."

"We sure do lead unusual lives," Dawn said as she laughed with her sister.

"Well, I better go, I have some ordering to do, and you know what a pain those drive in windows are," Buffy said. "Tell Willow and Tara what's up, but not Anya, she'll end up telling the whole party that I can't cook."

"Gotcha," Dawn said. "Now go!"

"I'm going! I'm going."

Buffy grabbed her keys and headed for the back door.

"Oh and Dawn?"

"Yeah Buffy?"

"Don't, I repeat, Don't let the stripper jump out of the cake until I get back, got it?"

"Got it."

Buffy walked to her car, started the engine, and headed for the Taco Bell, the one that just happened to be right next door to a Hooters restaurant on the highway.

End Part 14


	15. Strippers Gone Wrong: Part 14B

Part 14B ****

Part 14B Rated R this Part

Back at Hooters…

Spike was sitting at a table by himself again, eating his wings and thinking of Buffy.

"I can't bloody wait till the wedding," he thought. "Next time I see her, I'm just gonna grab her and kiss her."

Spike continued to ponder about what he should do, while Barbie was talking to Xander.

"Hey there cutie."

"Barbie, hey, do you think you could get us another round?" Xander asked.

"Sure thing, but first, I need to ask you something," Barbie said.

"Okay, shoot."

"Where'd that cute British friend of yours go?"

"Who Spike?" Xander asked as he pointed to the table where Spike was sitting by himself.

"No, not that British guy," Barbie said. "The other British guy, you know, the sexy one with the glasses."

"Giles?!"

"Yea, that's him I guess," Barbie said.

"You think Giles is sexy!?" Xander asked.

"Why yes, he is..do you know where he is?"

"He's right over there," Xander said with a low voice as he pointed to Giles, who was surrounded by at least four Hooters waitresses.

"Thanks hun, another round coming right up," Barbie said in her all too cheerful voice.

"Hey Harris! I think the "entertainment" has finally arrived," Steve cheered.

"Oh goody, I bet the minute the stripper lays eyes on that sexy British guy, she'll ignore us all too," Xander said in a sarcastic tone.

The guys all started to clap and hoot and holler as the girl came in.

"Man, I think hers are even bigger than Barbie's!" yelled one of Xander's drunk buddies.

"Where is Giles?" Xander thought.

In the corner of the room, a disheveled looking Giles had managed to escape the wrath of the Hooters waitresses.

"Well, that was, uh, interesting," Giles thought to himself.

He decided to go straighten up in the bathroom, but was unaware of the person who followed him in there.

"What in gods name got into you?" Giles asked himself out loud. "Look at you, you have lipstick all over your face."

He then walked into a stall to take care of 'business', and when he came out, got the shock of his life.

Barbie was sitting on the counter of the sink, completely naked, smiling seductively at him.

"Hey there sexy, see anything you like?" Barbie asked in a seductive tone.

"I…mm….aa….yoou…you're nude!" Giles yelled as he flushed red, aware of the bulge that was beginning to form in his pants.

"Yes I am…did I mention how much your accent turns me on?" Barbie asked.

"I….well…no, but, um…" Giles stammered.

"Do you not find me attractive?" Barbie asked hurt.

"God no, you're beautiful, it's just.."

"Giles?" Barbie asked innocently.

"Ye..yes.."

"Fuck me."

"Yes, ma'am!"

And with that, Barbie tore his clothes off and they went at it on the bathroom sink, in the Hooters restroom.

Back in the main room…

"Yeah baby! Whooo, show me what you got!" yelled another of Xander's drunk friends.

"I can't stay here anymore," thought Xander. "I have to go to the bathroom."

And with that, Xander proceeded to the bathroom, where he got the shock of his life.

"Ohhh, Giles…that's it baby, that's it, right there…ohhhhhh!" Barbie screamed.

"Bloody hell, Barbie, ahhhh….ahhhh..ohhh!" Giles screamed out in pleasure.

"Oh my god! My eyes! My eyes!" Xander screamed as he covered his eyes and ran out of the bathroom.

"Did you just hear something?" Barbie asked Giles.

"It sounded like Xander, but it couldn't be, we locked the door right?"

"I thought you locked the door?" Barbie asked innocently.

"No…oh dear…."

"Shhh, who cares baby..wanna try it standin up in a stall this time?" Barbie asked.

"Oh hell yes!" Giles screamed. He picked up Barbie and they moved to a stall, closed the door, and continued their fun.

Back in the party room

"Spike! Spike!" Xander yelled as he ran out of the bathroom and towards Spike's private little table.

"What is it Harris? Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Oh yes, because sitting here having a conversation with the wings is my definition of party!" Xander yelled.

"Bloody hell, will you just bugger off? What do you want?"

"Well, I just walked into the bathroom, and you'll never guess what I saw," Xander started.

"Well…?"

"Giles and Barbie were.." Xander tried to say but was cut off by a loud roar.

"What now?" Spike asked himself as he got up to see what was going on.

As he walked to the party floor, he saw that the stripper had turned into a giant snake-like creature.

"Only in Sunnyhell could you have the stripper turn into a giant snake," Spike said.

"Hey, I didn't hire him!" Xander yelled.

"C'mon, we don't have time to fight with each other, let's just kill the thing," Spike said.

"All right, let's go, you got any weapons?" Xander asked.

"We'll find our own," Spike said.

Xander grabbed the tray of chicken wings and started throwing them at the demon.

"This reminds me of the time I had to throw the dinner rolls at the Indian guy at Thanksgiving after he had turned into a bear," thought Xander.

Xander continued throwing food at the demon, while Spike put his plan into action.

"C'mon you big stupid stripper demon!" Xander taunted.

"Xander, that's not helping, just shut your bloody mouth and try to distract it!" Spike yelled.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom…

"Did you hear a roar?" Barbie asked.

"Yea, it must've been me, keep sucking," he said as he pushed her head back down.

Back in the room….

Spike took the trays of food off the burners and turned the gas up to high. He was going to try to burn the demon using the burners they cooked the food with..it was all he could use.

"Bait, I need bait.." Spike thought.

He quickly grabbed one of the Hooters waitresses and threw her in front of the table where the burners were.

"Just stay there, and move when I tell you to," Spike quickly explained to her.

"Okay," she said.

"Hey you big ugly snake! You ruined my party!" Xander yelled as he continued tossing food at it.

"Xander, shut up! Hey over here! Look at the nice Hooters waitress!" Spike yelled.

The demon turned its attention to the waitress, and she stood there in shock as it started coming towards her.

"Move you stupid bint!" Spike screamed. "Figures," thought Spike. "Can't even follow directions, no wonder why she works at Hooters!"

She finally moved and at that second Spike turned the flame up to high, and the snake was burning.

"You did it!" yelled one of the waitresses.

The demon turned to charcoal in a matter of minutes, and they were left with nothing but charred demon and some bad food.

"And they say Hooters is only good for wings and boobs," Xander joked.

"Did anyone else just see that?" Steve asked.

"No, listen, Steve, you're drunk, and a nice Hooters waitress is waiting right over there for you…this was all in your imagination," lied Xander.

"Oh..I see…right on! Mad cool party Xander!"

The guests started leaving, and Xander and Spike were left alone in the party room.

"Well, this will certainly be a night I'll never forget," Xander said to Spike.

"Yeah, you got that right," Spike said.

"Hey, you want a ride home?" Xander asked.

"Nah, I'm good Harris, but thanks anyway…I think I'll do a quick patrol before I call it a night," Spike said.

"Alright, well I'm gonna just stay here and help clean up a little."

"Okay, well I'll talk to you tomorrow I guess. Oh and Harris?"

"Yeah?"

"What did you have to tell me about the watcher and Barbie?"

In the bathroom….

Giles and Barbie lay sleeping on the floor, covered in a Hooters tablecloth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Welcome to Taco Bell, how can I help you tonight?" asked the voice from the drive-thru.

"Well, I only had to wait on this freaking line for a half an hour, so I think it would be nice of you to help me," Buffy said very aggravated.

"Welcome to Taco Bell, we can't control our lines, how can I help you tonight?" the server asked again.

"Yes, I'd like forty, 99 cent chalupas, extra sauce, and a diet coke please," Buffy yelled as she said her order into the machine.

"Okay, so that's four 99 cent chalupas and forty diet cokes. Your total comes to.."

"No! I said FORTY 99 cent CHALUPAS and only ONE DIET COKE, and I asked for some extra hot sauce too," Buffy yelled into the speaker.

"Oh, I am so sorry," apologized the person. "So that was fourteen chalupas and one diet coke with extra hot sauce in it."

"Ahhh!!" Buffy yelled. "Are you stupid or something?"

"Welcome to Taco Bell, how can I help you tonight?" asked the ever pleasant but oh so annoying voice.

"Did you not just hear a word I said?!"

"Your total comes to $21.50, please pull around to window one."

"That's it, I oughta.." yelled Buffy as she punched the stupid drive-thru speaker.

"Welcome to Taco Bell, how can I help you tonight?"

"Shut up!" Buffy yelled as she pulled her car up, and was behind at least seven other cars until she got to window one. "Well, looks like I'm stuck here," she said. "Hey, is that smoke coming from Hooters?"

She rolled down her window and stared at the smoke that was coming out of the roof. All of a sudden, she saw a familiar blonde and leather clad figure walking out the back door.

"What is Spike doing at Hooters?" she asked herself.

Spike walked out the back door, and started heading for the shortcut through the woods that would lead him to the graveyard, when he suddenly got the urge for Mexican. Not a Mexican person, but Mexican food.

"Bloody hell…why do I suddenly feel like a chalupa?" thought Spike.

He started walking towards the Taco Bell that was right next door to Hooters, when he noticed Buffy's car in the drive-thru.

"Why is the Slayer at Taco Bell's? Shouldn't she be at Anya's party?" Spike thought.

He continued walking towards her car, when Buffy realized he was coming towards her.

"Oh my god!" Buffy thought. "He's coming over here! Why is he coming over here? Why was he at Hooters?" All the questions flew through her mind at 90 miles an hour.

Spike knocked on her window, and Buffy rolled it down.

"Spike, what are you doing here?" Buffy asked, trying to sound as normal as possible, and hide the excitement in her voice.

"I was just out for a walk, and felt the urge for Mexican, so I came here," Spike said as casually as he could, silently praying to whatever god there was that she hadn't seen him walk out of Hooters.

"Mexican food I hope, not a Mexican person, unless I'd have to stake you," she tried to joke, but the thought of Spike turning into dust made her hurt inside.

"Hahaha, very funny slayer..so what brings you here? I thought you were hosting Anya's party tonight?" Spike asked.

"Well, Anya decided to invite some 'other' guests without telling me first, and well, to make a long story short, I can't cook Spanish food so Dawn sent me here to pick up forty chalupas," Buffy said.

"I see, lil bit always was a quick thinker, but this line is pretty long, and I don't fancy standing out here all night, so I'm gonna get going," Spike said as he mentally cursed himself for being such an idiot.

"Spike, would you like to come in and sit with me?" Buffy asked.

"You sure? Wouldn't want to intrude or anything," Spike said.

"Yes, I'm more than sure Spike, come in and sit with me."

'God, I love her so much," thought Spike, as he opened the door and hopped into the passenger seat of the Jeep.

There was a minute of comfortable silence between them, until Buffy broke it.

"Spike?"

'Yes Buffy?"

"What were you doing at Hooters?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Where is she?" Willow asked. "She should've been home twenty minutes ago."

"Don't worry baby, the line must have been really long, that's all," Tara reassured her girlfriend.

"I'm trying not to worry, but I have a bunch of hungry senoritas out there who are waiting for their food, and the stripper hasn't even showed up yet."

All of a sudden, the phone started to ring, and Willow picked it up.

"Summers residence, this is Willow. Oh, hey Xander, how's your party going?"

Willow was silent for a few minutes as she listened to Xander explain what happened at the party. Then he got to the part about Giles.

"Ewww, Giles with a hooters waitress?" Willow asked disgusted. "Are you sure Xander?"

She listened for another minute, and then finally said her good byes.

"Okay Xander, well I'm just glad you're okay, and that Spike saved the day. Okay, yea, I'll give Anya your love. Not like that you sicko!"

"Okay, bye."

"Well, what happened?" Tara asked.

"Long story…"

At the pay phone outside of Hooters, Xander hung up, when he saw Buffy's car, with her in the driver's seat, and a blonde in the passenger seat.

"Dammit, I need another quarter," Xander cursed as he fished around in his pocket for change.

A minute later, the phone rang again in the Summers residence, and Willow picked it up.

"What!? Spike and Buffy are in her car on the drive-thru line?" Willow asked.

"Okay, just keep an eye on them, be detective Xander, and make sure he doesn't tell her about the wedding! Okay, you too, bye." Willow hung up.

"We have a problem.." Willow said to Tara.

"Finally, I never thought we'd make it to the front of the line," Buffy said relieved that she finally could get home back to the party, but sad because she would have to leave Spike. "Tell him how you feel you idiot!" she screamed to herself in her head.

The other part of her, the more rational part of her, screamed, "Don't tell him you love him over chalupas! This is hardly the time or place!"

She decided that the rational half of her was right, and decided to play it cool.

"Well Buffy, this was fun, but I really should go…I'll see ya around I guess."

"Spike, don't be ridiculous, I'll drive you home, it's raining out anyway..plus you can have a chalupa, free of charge," Buffy offered happily.

"Now that's an offer I can't refuse!"

Buffy paid for her order, but not without giving the manager hell first, and drove off.

All of a sudden, she hit something, and stopped the car.

"What was that?" Buffy asked Spike.

"I'm not bloody sure, prolly just a speed bump or something, nothin to worry bout slayer," Spike reassured her.

"You're right, let's go."

They pulled away as Xander was left in the road, half run over, from spying on them. He had blended himself in with the road so that they wouldn't see him, and they didn't all right, because they ran right over him.

"Ow," Xander said as he laid still on the pavement. The rain was pouring down, and he had nowhere to go.

"Some party this was," Xander thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy pulled up to the entrance to the graveyard, getting ready to drop Spike off. They both got out of the car, unsure why though because it was raining.

"I would ask you to come to the party, but unfortunately, we have no room as it is," Buffy explained.

"Well, me and you could just go upstairs, and we could have our own party," Spike said seductively as he leaned into Buffy.

A few months ago, a comment like that would have gotten him beaten to a pulp, but now, it only turned her on.

"Spike…."

"Buffy"

"I.."

"You what?"

She leaned in to his touch and he cupped her face with his hand, ready to kiss her, before she pulled away.

"I…have to go, the chalupas are getting cold, and so am I," Buffy said as she started to shiver standing out in the rain.

"Oh, okay Slayer…I'll see ya I guess."

"Spike, I had a great time tonight, but I really have to go. Thank you."

And she opened her door, started the car, and pulled away.

"Was she going to say she loved me?" Spike thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy pulled into her driveway, feeling colder than se actually was.

"I almost told Spike I love him, I can't believe it. But I didn't…he probably thinks I hate him. But god, he felt so good."

Buffy decided to leave her thoughts of Spike for later, she was gone for a while, so she had to run to the back door and into the kitchen.

"Buffy!" Dawn yelled.

"Hey Dawn, sorry it took me so long, I ran into a long line."

"Buffy, hey, you're back, finally!" Willow said.

"Did you get the stuff?" Dawn asked.

"Yes I did, forty chalupas, you can count them yourself," Buffy said proudly.

"Um, Buffy, there's only thirty-eight," Dawn said.

Tara and Willow shared a look, knowing where the two other chalupas had gone.

"So, did the stripper come yet?" Buffy asked.

Ten minutes later….

"Buffy, these chalupas are delicious!" Anya exclaimed. "You'll have to give Maria the recipe so she can add this to the catering list."

"Oh, it was nothing, just a little something I whipped up."

The women continued to eat, and then moved on to the gift opening.

"Open mine first!" Maria said as she shoved her gift in Anya's face.

"Okay!" Anya said excited.

"Oh, Maria, it's beautiful.."

"What is it?" Willow asked.

"It's a sexy Spanish g-string with a matching lace sombrero!"

"Oh my god…" Buffy said as she couldn't believe Anya could like a gift like that.

"Now me and Xander can really role play while we have sex," Anya said.

She continued to open her gifts until there was a knock at the door.

Anya excitedly ran over to the front door and opened it up.

"Cake delivery for a Mrs. Jenkins.." the man read off his long list of names.

"Yes, that is me, Miss Jenkins, and that is my cake with the sexy Spanish stripper in it!" Anya exclaimed loudly.

"Sign here," the man said.

"Okay thank you, good bye!" 

Anya with the help of a few Spanish women, rolled the cake into the living room and turned up the volume of the music. "I'm too sexy.." was blasting in the Summers living room.

The turned off the regular lights and Tara switched on the strobe light, which created a cool effect.

"Oh, this should be fun!" Willow yelled as she anxiously waited for the hot Spanish stripper named Rodriguo to jump out of the cake.

"Now Dawn, if there is anything, and I mean anything that you feel you can't handle, then just go upstairs," Buffy said to her sister.

"Buffy, don't worry, I'll be fine, I'm so psyched to see this guy!" Dawn yelled over the music.

__

I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt too sexy yowwww

The whole room started to countdown….

"5,4,3,2,1…Jump out!" they all yelled at once.

And the stripper did jump out, and at first, everything was disorienting because of the strobe light, but then, it became clear that this wasn't Rodriguo.

"Oh my god is that..?" Willow started to ask but was cut off by Buffy shouting.

"Jonathan!?" Buffy screamed as she stared at Jonathan, the nerdy kid from high school in all of his glory.

"Ah, um..this isn't the Wilson's Home for Old Ladies is it?" Jonathan asked very embarrassed. 

"Oh my god no!" Buffy screamed as she tried to cover her eyes.

"Dawn go upstairs now, this is not something you should have to see!" Buffy yelled and Dawn was not going to argue, she ran right up stairs, never looking back.

"Okay, so wait, first off, you're a stripper!? And secondly, you were headed for and old ladies retirement home?" Buffy asked.

"Yes…I..I was, they hired me to strip at Sylvia Jenkin's 90th birthday bash, so I decided to do it, and last thing I remember was being put into this cake and jumping out, expecting to find myself at a retirement home, and instead I end up here," Jonathan explained.

"Well, let me just say, eww for one, because no offense, but Jonathan, you as a stripper…those two things don't work well together, and secondly…" Buffy said but was interrupted by Willow.

"Actually, Maria and her friends seem to like him," she said as she pointed to where Jonathan was standing covered in whipped cream, being licked and kissed at by the Spanish women.

"This is just too gross and too weird.." Buffy said, then thoughts of Spike jumping out of the cake covered in whipped cream came to her mind, and a smile went on her face.

"Buffy, you can't be serious…why are you smiling? You can't find Jonathan attractive can you?" Tara asked.

"God no, I was just thinking of someone…" she said as her thoughts drifted back to Spike.

"Well, something must have gotten mixed up, because Anya's last name is Jenkins, that's why," Willow explained.

"But, if Jonathan is here, then that means.." Anya said, as they all stopped and knew the answer to where Rodriguo, the beloved stripper was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"5,4,3,2,1….jump!!!" screamed twenty old ladies at the Wilson Retirement home.

Rodriguo jumped from the cake, expecting to find himself in a house filled with young women, instead, found himself in a retirement home with a bunch of old, wrinkly women.

"Qué la cogida?" Rodriguo asked himself in Spanish, which translates to "What the fuck?"

"Hey there cutie, wasn't expecting you, but you'll do!" said one of the old women.

"I left my dentures in my room, can I nibble on your ear?" asked another.

"Help!!!" 

And she bangs, she bangs  
Oh baby  
When she moves, she moves  
I go crazy  
'Cause she looks like a flower but she stings  
like a bee  
Like every girl in history  
She bangs, she bangs  
  
I'm wasted by the way she moves  
No one ever looked so fine  
She reminds me that a woman only got one thing on her mind  
  


End Part 14B :) 


	16. Tears and Pain

Part 15 ****

This part is a little angsty..but don't worry, it will be all better by the wedding :)

Part 15

The next day….

"I still can't believe that Jonathan jumped out of the cake," Willow said. "I mean _Jonathan_? A stripper? Never thought I'd see the day when that would happen."

"I know, I'm still getting the wiggins just thinking about it," Buffy said. "Thanks so much for coming over today and helping me clean up, I really appreciate."

"Oh, it's no problem. Tara had to take Miss Kitty Fiasco to the vet, so I was free anyway," Willow said.

"Yeah, because not only do I majorly need your help at cleaning up, I also need your advice."

"Okay, sure, that's what best friends are for," Willow said.

"Okay well..I almost kissed Spike last night," Buffy confessed.

"You what!?" Willow exclaimed.

"And that's not the worst part either," Buffy said. "I almost told him I love him."

"You did!?" Willow exclaimed again.

"Well, it was raining…and we were standing out in it…and he was being his usual annoying, cocky, gorgeous self, and he leaned in to kiss me, and I pulled away like an idiot."

"You're not an idiot Buffy, but why did you pull away?" Willow asked.

"I guess I was scared Will."

"Of being kissed?" Willow asked confused.

"Of falling in love," Buffy admitted.

"Buffy, do you love Spike?" Willow asked straight out.

"I don't know how I feel anymore!" Buffy said. "One minute I want to punch him, but then the next minute, the thought of hurting any part of him and his beautiful body makes me hurt inside."

"Buffy, if you really love him, you have to tell him how you feel."

"I know, its just..what if he hates me now? What if he thinks I don't like him? I mean, we've become so close over the past few months, and I don't want to lose him now" Buffy admitted.

"Don't worry Buffy, he loves you, he really does…and if he just stops suddenly because of a kiss, then he doesn't deserve you," Willow explained.

"You're right Will. I have to talk to him though..ya know, to make sure things are still cool between us," Buffy said. "I'm gonna pay a little visit to his crypt tonight and we're gonna have a talk."

"No! You can't go there tonight!" Willow lied while trying to think of a reason why she should tell Buffy not to go to Spike's.

'Why not Will? Is he having the place exterminated of something?" joked Buffy.

"No, it's just….maybe you should give him a little time, ya know," Willow said, knowing that if Buffy went to talk to Spike, that he would probably let it slip that he was in the wedding and that would ruin everything. And there was always the chance she would see his tux hanging on the door.

"Yeah, I guess you're right Will," Buffy said.

"Buffy, if he really loves you, he'll give you all the time in the world."

"I know, and I think he really does love me…Okay, no more brooding here, let's clean up," Buffy said, trying to get Spike out of her mind.

"Okay, let me get the garbage can," Willow said.

When she walked to go to the kitchen, she passed the couch in the living room where Jonathan jumped out of the cake, and spied something all over the couch.

"Buffy, come here a sec," Willow asked.

Willow pointed to the white stuff that was all over the couch, and started to say, "I think it's…"

"Whipped cream," Buffy said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Was she gonna tell me she loved me last night?" thought Spike. "And why did she pull away from me?" he asked himself as he walked around the lower half of his crypt. "I mean, I think she wanted me to kiss her..wait no, scratch that..I _know_ she wanted me to kiss her."

Spike continued his pacing when he stared over at what used to be his "shrine" to Buffy.

"I was such a fool, probably scared her to death thinking I was some pathetic, obsessed vampire."

All of a sudden, a voice from above interrupted his thoughts.

"Okay, we're done, you can come up now," the voice said.

"About bloody time!" Spike said as he climbed up the ladder to the main level of his crypt.

"Are they gone?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, got rid of every last one of them..now just sign here, and your bill will be in the mail," the man said.

"I don't have a mail box," Spike said.

"Well then your bill will be in the sarcophagus."

"That's better," Spike said.

"Just sign here," said the man.

"There ya go, all signed, now shoo," Spike said.

"I know it's none of my business, and I'm not gonna even ask why you live here..but why did you ask of my services now?"

"What can I say..I'm whipped," Spike said.

The man from Sunnydale's Exterminator Company pulled away in his van, leaving Spike behind with a now rat free crypt.

"A crypt with rats is no place to bring a lady," Spike said to himself. "A couple of throw pillows wouldn't hurt either."

Spike grabbed his catalog and flipped through it, until he got to the bedding section.

"Oh, that Martha Stewart is havin a white sale..I really do need some new sheets…bloody hell! No Martha Stewart sheets! I really _am _whipped."

Spike thought about it for a moment.

"Well, if I do _need _sheets, might as well get silk ones," Spike said with a devilish grin.

Later that night…..

Buffy was out doing a quick patrol, and after she staked her second vamp, she realized she had wandered into Spike's graveyard.

"Since when did this become Spike's graveyard?" she asked herself.

"The second you realized you loved him," she answered back.

Trying to not think about Spike, she tried to think about cleaning with Willow.

"Man was that whipped cream hard to get out of the couch," Buffy thought. "But it was fun," she thought with a sly smile on her face.

"Whipped cream thoughts lead to Spike thoughts and Spike thoughts are yummy thoughts," thought Buffy. "God, where did that come from? I sound like an obsessed sixteen year old."

She continued to patrol, but when she realized there was going to be no more vamps that night, she took a turn for Spike's crypt.

"Wait, what am I doing?" she asked herself. "I promised Willow I wouldn't come here."

"But why does Willow care what I do?" thought Buffy.

She walked towards his door, and knocked.

"Yeah what do you want? I signed the bloody stupid form already!" Spike yelled.

"Spike, can I come in?" Buffy asked almost shyly as she opened his door.

"Slay-Buffy..what are you doing here?" Spike asked, embarrassed about his yelling.

"Well first, I have no forms for you to sign, and second, I wanted to talk to you."

"_You _wanted to talk to _me_?" Spike asked.

"Well yea, about last night…"

"It was a mistake, it shouldn't have happened," Spike said with pain in his voice.

"Do you really mean that?" Buffy asked with hurt in her voice.

"Buffy…I don't know what to think," Spike said. "I tried to kiss you, and you pulled away from me, what was I supposed to think?"

"Spike…I.." 

"You what Buffy?" Spike asked as he moved closer to her.

"I have to tell you something," Buffy said as she leaned into his touch. This oddly reminded her of last night.

"Well then tell me luv," Spike said as he brushed his lips over her cheek in a very erotic way.

"I..Oh my god I have to go!" Buffy yelled as she stared at Spike's clock on the wall and noticed it was 8:00.

"Why do you have to leave?" Spike asked. "Things were just heating up luv."

"I don't want to go, I really don't..but I have to," Buffy said as she reluctantly pulled away from him. "And since when did Spike get a clock?" she thought.

"Why, is it something I did? Did I come on too strong?" Spike asked.

"Spike, no, you could never come on too strong," Buffy said while grinning. "It's just that I'm a half an hour late to pick up my dress for the wedding tomorrow."

"Oh yea, the wedding…you better go then," Spike said, trying not to show his disappointment, even though he would see her at the wedding. He couldn't let her know he was gonna be there though, unless the whole set up would be ruined.

"Spike, I really thought Anya or Xander would invite you, and I'm really mad that they didn't…but that still doesn't mean that you can't come…" Buffy said but was cut off by Spike.

"What are you saying?" Spike asked.

"As my date," Buffy finished. "Spike, I want you to come as my date."

"Buffy, I would love to," Spike said happily, then quickly remembered that he's going to be there, so that wouldn't work.

"But I can't," Spike said with sadness in his voice.

"You…you can't?" Buffy asked. "Or you don't want to?"

"Buffy it's not that, it's just.."

"What Spike?"

"I can't tell you," Spike admitted.

"Oh, I see how it is…I guess I deserve this anyway," Buffy said as a tear slipped down her cheek.

"Buffy, what are you talking about?"

"Spike, I've always turned you down, and the one time I decide to ask you out, I get what I deserve..You turned me down," she said as she tried to hold back her tears.

"Buffy, luv, no, it's has nothing to do with that," Spike said as he went to hold her hand and tell her about everything, damn the scoobies and their little plan, he didn't want to see her be in pain. 

But as Spike went to hold her hand, she pulled away.

"Spike, don't touch me, please..I just…I have to go," Buffy said as she turned and ran for the door to his crypt.

"Buffy! Wait" Spike yelled, but it was no use, she was gone.

"What have I done?" Spike thought.

End Part 15


	17. Wedding Day: Part 16A

Part 16A ****

Part 16A

It was a chilly, but beautiful January day in Sunnydale. The birds were chirping, and the paperboys were riding their bikes delivering their papers. It looked like the perfect town to live in-well, if living on a Hellmouth is your idea of fun. 

Xander reached over and wrapped his arms around Anya.

"Mmmm, baby, I can't believe this is our wedding day," Xander said into Anya's ear.

"Mmm, yeah, I'm tired, Anya wants to sleep more."

"An, did you forget or something?" Xander asked tentatively. "Today is our wedding."

"I know silly," Anya said sleepily. "Today is our wedd-What?!" 

"Did you forget or something?" Xander asked.

"Oh my god!" Anya screamed as she jumped out of bed. "Oh my god! You have to leave! No wait, I have to leave!"

"Whoa, An, not getting cold feet now are you?" Xander joked, but was actually getting kind of nervous by her bizarre behavior.

"Xander, its bad luck for the bride and the groom to see each other on their wedding day!"

"Isn't it only bad luck if I see you in your dress before the wedding?" Xander asked.

"No, it's both, now I have to leave," Anya said as she ran to grab her keys and her dress.

"Oh my god, she's leaving me," Xander said to himself.

"I'm not leaving you, you big idiot," Anya answered. "I have to be at Buffy's, that's where we're all getting ready before the ceremony."

"Oh, I see, you could have said that in the first place. I have to get to Giles' anyway, he has to give me that whole speech thing and prep me."

"Well, I must go…but before I do I just need to know one thing," Anya said, almost shyly.

"What is it baby?"

"You won't leave me standing at the altar looking like an idiot in front of all our friends and family will you?" Anya asked timidly.

"Anya, why would you think such a thing?" Xander asked.

"Don't speak Xander, just let me finish," Anya said. "I was a vengeance demon for a long time, I know what happens at weddings, I did many curses to men who left their fiancés standing at the alter..I just want to make sure you won't leave me standing there."

"An, how could you ever think I would leave you standing there?" Xander said. "Anya, I love you, I love you more than any man or demon could. And by the end of today, you'll be my wife, Mrs. Anya Harris."

"Oh Xander, I love you so much too," Anya said as she kissed him on the lips. "And just think of how much fun we'll have on our honeymoon to Mexico. I doubt we'll ever leave the room."

"Oh, I'm liking the way that sounds," Xander said.

"I have to get to Buffy's now, but I'll see you later..at our wedding."

"See you later Anya," Xander said as he pulled her in for one last kiss. "Wow, this will be the last kiss we share with each other before we're married."

"Well, I don't have to be at Buffy's until 9, so how about we hump like bunnies until then," Anya said.

"Mm, I like the sound of that..wait An, you just used the word bunny in a sentence, and didn't get scared."

"Oh my god, you're right Xander, I did! I'm just so excited about the wedding, I completely forgot about my bunnyphobia."

"Well, lets do like the bunnies do, and hump," Xander said as he pulled Anya down to the bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy was awakened by a very excited Dawn running into her room.

"Buffy! Wake up! Today's the wedding!" Dawn shouted as she walked over to Buffy and pulled the covers off of her.

"Dawn, what are you doing? What time is it?" asked a very tired Buffy.

"It's almost 8:00, Anya, Willow, and Tara will be here soon, so get your butt out of bed!"

"No, sleep…Spike, I'm sorry…" Buffy grumbled as the events of the night before came into her head.

"Buffy, Spike's not here, what are you talking about?" Dawn asked very confused by her sister's odd behavior.

Buffy was fully awake at the mention of Spike. "Oh, nothing Dawn, lemme make you some breakfast, and then we can get into our ever so tacky dresses." 

"Buffy, what's wrong? Why do you seem kinda distant?"

"I said it was nothing Dawn," Buffy snapped.

"Oh," Dawn answered back, hurt in her voice.

"Dawn, I'm sorry…it's just, I had a bad night," Buffy explained.

"Well trust me, today will be a great day," Dawn said, knowing that Spike being at the wedding would give him and Buffy the perfect opportunity to be close.

"Yea, my idea of fun is dancing the macarena in a sombrero and hot pink dress," Buffy said sarcastically.

"Buffy, what has gotten into you?"

"I told you already Dawn! Now can we please just let it go, they'll be here soon, and I need to be ready for makeup and hair," Buffy said as she went to turn on the shower.

"Okay Buffy, but I know you'll have fun at the wedding!" Dawn said cheerily.

"Oh yeah, fun…fun would be Spike being there with me as my date," Buffy said out loud.

Dawn stopped in her tracks. "Buffy, what did you just say?"

"I said, I wish Spike was invited. And not only that, but he would be my date," Buffy admitted to her sister.

"Oh no," Dawn thought. "What happened last night that I don't know about?"

"Nothing Dawn, me and Spike just kind of got into a fight, I really don't feel like talking about it now."

"Okay, I'm sorry Buffy..but will you at least believe me when I say that everything will be all right?"

"I wish I could…but life's not a fairytale..I'm not gonna live happily ever after," Buffy said as she walked for the bathroom.

"Oh no, I have to talk to Spike!" Dawn thought. 

"Umm, Buffy, I have to run an errand, I'll be back in a few minutes, I promise," Dawn lied.

"What do you need to get?" Buffy asked suspiciously.

Dawn racked her brain and then thought of the first thing that came to mind.

"Uhh, whipped cream!" she blurted out.

"Dawn, do you know that that is the worst possible thing you could've said right now," Buffy said as she banged her head against the bathroom door, images of Spike and whipped cream plaguing her mind.

"I know, sorry to bring up Spike memories, but we really need it for the party, and we have none, so I better go get some!" Dawn yelled as she was already halfway downstairs. 

"Um, okay Dawn, what has gotten into you?" Buffy asked herself as she stepped into the shower. 

Suddenly, it dawned on her. "Wait, she left the house in her pajamas, she would never walk into the store in her pajamas, what is going on?"

Buffy realized the second after she asked herself that. "Oh my god, she went to Spike's."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn ran as quickly as she could to Spike's crypt-or should she say, Spike's newly decorated crypt.

"Spike! Spike are you here?" Dawn asked breathlessly.

"Lil bit, what are you doing here?" Spike asked as he walked out of the shower, wearing only a towel and his classic bed hair.

"I..I..ummm," Dawn stuttered, suddenly forgetting the reason she was here.

"Have you lost your voice?" Spike asked, with a cocky grin on his face, knowing very well why she was at a loss for words.

"I um, Buffy…" Dawn managed to get out, but his abs were just too much for her. "God Dawn! He's Spike, stop it!" she thought to herself.

"Buffy, what about Buffy?" Spike asked, trying not to sound interested as he walked over to his new dresser and pulled out a black shirt to cover himself with.

"Okay, I'll get to that in a minute, but first I have to ask..what is all this stuff Spike?" 

"Just a lil somethin I decided to buy," Spike answered.

"Spike, you and furniture?" Dawn laughed. "Those two things don't mix well together."

"Haha, very funny nibblet, I'm getting rid of it anyways, doesn't fit my personality real well ya know?"

"Why did you get it then?" Dawn asked.

"For a bloody stupid reason, I am such a fool," Spike admitted.

"Spike, no you're not..did you get it because of Buffy?" Dawn asked.

"Hey lil bit, why are you here? Don't you got the silly Spanish wedding today?" Spike asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yes, and so do you Spike, you are going as the best man, remember?" Dawn asked.

"I've changed my mind, something suddenly came up," Spike lied, not wanted to say the real reason why he wasn't going to the wedding.

"What do you mean something suddenly came up?" Dawn asked in an annoyed voice. "You can't bail on Xander and Anya now just because of whatever happened between you and Buffy last night!"

"Dawn listen, I was a bloody idiot to think that Buffy could ever love me…I realized last night that it's just not gonna work."

"Spike, Buffy was so upset this morning about you…she was upset that you wouldn't be her date to the wedding, and she really does love you Spike, I know she does..just tell me what happened last night?" Dawn asked tenderly as she reached for Spike's hand and led him to his new sofa.

"Alright nibblet, I'll tell ya.." Spike started.

Fifteen minutes later….

"And she walked out on me…I woulda told her that I was gonna be at the bloody ridiculous wedding, so what if I ruined your lil' plan…she seemed so upset," Spike said.

"Spike, please…come to the wedding still, and be Xander's best man…everyone wants you there, especially Buffy..when she sees you in your bright green tux she can't help but love you," Dawn said as she tried to cheer Spike up.

"Fine, I'm going…but if Buffy doesn't want me there I'm leavin…and I'm bringin a change of clothes..there's no way I'm stayin in that bloody ridiculous outfit all night," Spike said. "And I didn't take a month of dancing lessons for nothin." ****

Dawn laughed. "Spike, don't worry, you _so_ will not be the only one there who looks like an idiot."

"Well nibblet, you better head on home, big sis is prolly wonderin where you ran off to."

"Oh, you just reminded me!" Dawn said as she slapped her head.

"What is it nibblet?"

"You wouldn't happen to have any whipped cream, would you?" Dawn asked.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Spike said as he walked over to his new fridge and opened it up to reveal numerous cans of whipped cream, strawberries, and champagne.

"Okay, _so _don't wanna know what a vampire needs that stuff for," Dawn said as she grabbed the can of whipped cream and turned to leave.

After Dawn left, Spike walked over to his couch and stared at the bright green tux that was sitting on his bed.

"What am I doing just sitting here? I have a wedding to get to, and a slayer to dance with."

End Part 16A

****


	18. Wedding Day: Part 16B

Part 16B ****

Part 16B

Buffy heard the doorbell ring and reluctantly walked to answer it. Today had not been a good day so far. Not only did she have to wear that hot pink dress, but also things with her and Spike were not good. And on top of that, Dawn ran out of the house, probably on her way to Spike's crypt to tell him god knows what.

"Maybe we could've had something," Buffy thought. "Too late now, I guess. He must hate me."

She opened the door and was greeted with the excited faces of her three best friends, and Maria of course.

"Hola Buffy! We are here to get ready! Today is my wedding, in case you forgot!" Anya beamed.

"No Anya, how could I have forgotten, I'm only the maid of honour," Buffy said sarcastically.

"Yeah, you get to wear the pink dress," Willow said quietly to Buffy. "Lucky you."

"Well Senoritas! We're all here, so let's get started," Anya said.

"Wait, where's Dawnie?" Tara asked.

At that second Dawn came running through the back door, dressed in her pajamas and a can of whipped cream in hand.

"Dawnie, what are you doing?" Willow asked.

"I ummm…"

"Wow, our little Dawnie sure has grown up," Anya announced.

"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.

"I know what you were doing with that whipped cream, sneaking into the house in your pj's…me and Xander do it all the time..don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

Everyone, including Dawn, just stared at Anya with looks of disbelief on their faces.

"What?" Anya asked.

"Anya, she doesn't even have a boyfriend, and she's fifteen..don't go there," Buffy said.

"Okay, well, that was interesting, but if we want to be at the church by 11:00, we better get moving, because it's 9:30 now," Willow announced trying to change the subject.

"Oh my god, it's 9:30!" Anya shouted. "Well, c'mon then, let's get a move on! Up, go up!" she yelled as she pushed everyone up the stairs.

Everyone climbed the stairs, dresses in hand, ready for the day of their lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Bloody hell! Why do I have to wear this?" Spike said as he tried to fix his bow tie.

"Listen Spike, it wasn't my idea to have everyone wear bright fluorescent colors, okay," Xander said as he fiddled with his bright blue bow tie.

"Bugger this! I'm getting a clip on!"

"We really should get a move on," Giles announced. "We have to be there in an hour, and the two if you can't even dress yourselves without arguing."

"Sorry Watcher, but if it wasn't for Buffy, I wouldn't even be going to this stupid affair."

"Hey! This is not some stupid affair! This is my wedding!" Xander announced proudly. "This is supposed to be the best day of my life."

"Oh yeah, and what a life it's been…laid some bricks, laid some bricks, got shagged, laid some bricks," Spike joked.

"Hey! You can make that got shagged lots!" Xander said.

"We really must get a move on, did you forget that we have to pick up Barbie in a half an hour," Giles said.

"Score one for the G-Man!" Xander announced as he gave him a thumbs up. 

"Xander, you don't have to be so immature about it, she's a very lovely woman, who I find attractive and happen to enjoy spending time with."

"Yeah, if you call humping on the Hooters restroom floor spending time," Xander said sarcastically.

Giles turned ten shades of red. "Well, um..we really should get going."

"Yeah, let's, the faster we go, the less time I have till I see Buffy," Spike said as he pulled the blanket over his head. "And the less time I have to spend in this suit.

They walked to the bright pink limo with sun-proof windows that Maria had gotten them, and piled in reluctantly. They were halfway to Barbie's house, when the chauffeur decided to open the sunroof, giving Spike a nice surprise sunburn.

"Bloody hell!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Buffy, what's wrong?" Willow asked as she finished curling the last part of Buffy's hair.

"It's nothing Will, really, I'm okay."

"Oh, you just seem kinda down," Willow replied.

"What? Buffy can't be down, we need her to be up!" Anya exclaimed. "I need a happy maid of honour, not a broody one."

"Anya, you're not helping," Tara said, as she purposely let the curling iron burn her head a little.

"Oww!" Anya exclaimed.

"Is it Spike?" Willow asked. "Did something happen with Spike?"

"Well, besides the fact that he hates me, then no, everything's fine," Buffy replied sarcastically.

"Oh Buffy, what happened?" Willow asked.

"Well, I went to Spike's last night, to invite him to Anya's wedding since he wasn't invited, but then.." Buffy was about to finish, but was rudely cut off by Anya.

"Spike? Oh, you shouldn't have asked him to come to the wedding, since he's invited already, duh!" Anya said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Spike's what?" Buffy asked.

"Spike's invited to the wedding, he has been all along..in fact, he's the best man. We had this plan all along that you weren't supposed to know about until.. Owww!" Anya tried to finish but was being burned by Tara and the curling iron.

"What was that for?" Anya asked Tara.

"Anya, we know you're all excited about your wedding, but did you lose a few brain cells over night or something?" Dawn asked as she finished applying her lipstick. "You just ruined the whole plan."

"Oh….oh!" Anya said as she realized what she had done. "Oops?"

"So wait a second….Spike's been invited the whole time? You all knew about this?" Buffy asked as she tried to piece everything together.

"Yeah, it's true, all of it," Willow said.

"So Dawn going to Spike's today was.."

"So that I could convince him to still go to the wedding," Dawn answered.

"And him being by Hooters as Xander's party was going on?"

"Yup, that too..he was at the bachelor party," Tara answered.

"And I thought he had really lost it when I saw him dancing the Macarena in his crypt with a sombrero on," Buffy joked. "I can't believe I've been so blind, it was all there right in front of me, I just didn't realize it until now."

"And you have me to thank for that," Anya said. "But can we please continue, I need help applying my fuschia lip gloss."

"This might of come as a shocker to you, but he really loves you Buffy, and we only kept it a secret to that we could make you happy," Dawn said.

"Oh, you guys!" Buffy said as she stood up for her friends and gave them all, even Maria a hug. "I don't know what to say..I thought Spike hated me, but now I know the truth," Buffy said as she tried to hold back tears. "Thank you."

"Oh Buffy, we love you, we just want you to be happy," Willow said.

"Yeah, we love you Buffy, just don't cry because then your mascara will run, and I can't have my maid of honour looking like a slob," Anya said.

"De nada Buffy," Maria said. "That Spike really loves you, and tonight at the Fiesta, you two will danza!" 

"Yes, we will dance..we will dance."

And with that, they finished getting ready, and the six of them walked out to the limo. Before they left though, Buffy ran back into her house to get something.

"Might need this for later," she said with a devilish smile on her face as she grabbed the can of whipped cream out of the fridge and stuck it in her bag. "You know, in case we dance."

End Part 16B


	19. The Church: Part 17A

The Spanish Wedding Part 17A

This Part has a minor mention to the episode "Tabula Rasa"

Spoilers up to and including Season 6-you've been warned!

Enjoy!

Xander stood at the altar, waiting anxiously for his bride-to-be to walk down the aisle. Spike, who was standing right next to him, was constantly grumbling about how he was changing as soon as they got to the party. 

The pews were full, and everyone was ready and anxious for the wedding to start. The question was, where was Anya?

In the back room of the church…

"Ahhhhhh!!! Why is this happening to me?" Anya sobbed as she buried her head in Willow's shoulder.

"It'll be okay, Anya, we're gonna get through this, I promise," Willow said reassuringly.

"No, it's not okay…I..they.." Anya said between sobs. 

"Bunnies, I know, we all know," Buffy said. "We all saw them outside, but don't worry, there were only two and we chased them away."

"But, why? And on my wedding day no less!" Anya exclaimed.

There was a knock on the door, and Giles walked in.

"I have to ask, is everything okay in here? What is taking you so long? There are a hundred plus people out there, most of which I don't even know, and they are getting very antsy," Giles started. "One woman even threatened to throw her shoe at my head if I didn't go and get the bride out there this instant. So I insist that you all get your makeup on and give your final best wishes, and get out there."

"Giles, when we were entering the church, Anya spotted two bunnies hopping along on their merry way," Tara explained.

"That's why she's so upset Giles," Dawn added.

"Dear Lord, bunnies, and on your wedding day no less," Giles said.

"Exactly my point," Anya added through sobs.

"Well, you mustn't let it get you down…Xander is waiting for you, and although I love seeing both him and Spike looking very silly and uncomfortable in their suits and sombreros, we really should hurry it along," Giles said. 

"Yes, I want the wedding to hurry up…the sooner we get to the party, the sooner Barbie and I can hit the restroom," Giles thought naughtily to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The music started up, and all the guests immediately turned their heads to the back of the church to see the wedding take place.

Dawn, who was lucky enough not to have to wear a sombrero or bright color dress, walked down the aisle in her beautiful shimmering blue dress, carrying a basket of flowers. 

Spike stared admiringly at his little bit, hoping that some day he would see her walk down the aisle with some nice bloke, some day being 30 or so years into the future.

Tara was next, her hair up in curls with baby's breath adorning her, followed Dawn carrying her bright mixture of wild flowers.

Willow was next, and the second she stepped onto the carpet, she made eye contact with Xander. He had promised her that he would look at her and make funny faces so that she would be less nervous about walking down the aisle. Even after all these years, she still had some of that nerd/stage-fright Willow left in her.

Spike was so busy thinking of ways he could knock some sense into Dawn's future boyfriend's, that he almost missed Buffy's walk down the aisle-almost.

Spike was at a loss for words. She took his non-existent breath away.

She was glowing, simply glowing. He had never seen her more…. alive…she looked so happy and at peace. Since she had come back, Spike hadn't seen that old side of Buffy that was pre-death, but lately, she had been coming out, and acting more and more like that bitchy, beautiful, god-like Slayer he knew she was.

Spike looked her up and down, and saw that she was in that ridiculous get-up, a bright pink dress with a sombrero, the same one she had tried on at her house so long ago. At least they could look like bloody fools together.

Then, he looked up, and saw her staring right into his eyes, right into the very soul that he knew he didn't have but could almost feel. 

In that second, something passed between them. Spike wasn't sure what it was, but he was sure that whatever it was, there was no turning back. They were no longer Buffy and Spike- Mortal enemies. They were no longer Buffy and Spike-Let's Patrol together and then I'll beat you up pals. Hell, they were no longer Buffy and Spike- Friends who kinda want each other, in a way of ripping their clothes off and shagging like bunnies. No, they were now Buffy and Spike- the couple, the friends, the lovers? 

"One can wish can't he?" Spike thought to himself.

Buffy gave him a seductive smile, and a wink, and walked to the altar to stand in her spot next to Willow.

Then, the traditional dum dum dum wedding theme started, and everyone rose.

There was Anya, being walked down the aisle by her "father" Giles. It was funny to think that at one time, when Willow had done that forget spell, that they actually thought *they***** were engaged. And yes, they did end up walking down the aisle together, but not as bride and groom, but as daughter and father. And hey, it was the least she could do, I mean he did give her the Magic Box. 

She was clinging to his arm, not wanting to let go, the fear that the bunnies were going to pop out of nowhere at any given time had her frightened. 

"I guess this is my form of punishment for being an ex-vengeance demon, huh big guy?" She asked as she looked up at the ceiling.

"Why is she clinging to him like that? I'm very clingable, as she would know.." Xander's thoughts wandered.

Giles' eyes wandered over to Barbie, who was giving him and oh-so-seductive look. Giles tried to think of something, anything that wasn't sex related.

"Grass….clouds…..mousepads…..doors…bathroom doors….making love to Barbie against the bathroom do….bloody hell!" Giles thought.

Him and Anya reached the altar, and she still had her arm firmly around his.

"Um..ah..Anya, please, you can let go of my arm now," Giles said, trying to gently loosen his arm from hers.

"What? Oh yes, sorry about that," Anya apologized. 

Xander and Anya were now facing each other, and the priest began his to speak…in Spanish.

"Oh bloody great, here we go," Spike thought.

Spike looked over at Buffy and never took his eyes off of her, even when he had to hand Xander the ring.

"The Bride and Groom will say their own vows now," the priest said in English, for the first time.

Xander went first.

"Anya, I've never met anyone like you…which is true, I mean, how many ex-vengeance demons are there in the world?"

The only one's who laughed were the Scoobies, while the rest of the church sat there bewildered. Either they didn't know about the big things that go bump in the night, or they just didn't understand a word of English.

"The minute you walked into my life, I knew I was in trouble."

She elbowed him, but she knew he was just kidding- at least he better have been.

"I knew I was in trouble because, I had never felt that way about anyone before-ever."

"Oh Xander.."

"Let me finish An, you'll have your turn in a minute. When I reluctantly took you to the prom, when you begged me to get out of town with you after the Mayor's ascension, when you helped me through my case of syphilis…I knew you were the one..I may not have admitted it to myself then, but deep down, I knew that I was never going to find anyone else out there like you."

"So true," thought Willow.

"I promise, that for as long as I live, I will take care of you, support you, I will keep you safe from bunnies, but most of all, I'll love you. I…I love you Anya Harris, so much."

"Oh Xander, that was so beautiful," Anya said through tears of joy.

Even Spike felt his eyes start to water…

"No, I'm not crying," Spike thought. "Must just be the church getting to me, that's it."

Now it was Anya's turn.

"Alexander Lavelle Harris, first off, I would like to tell you what a silly middle name that is, and I hope that if we ever reproduce, and have a baby, that we never name it that."

"Typical Anya," Buffy thought. She was unable to concentrate on the vows, and found her thoughts, and eyes, wandering over to Spike. 

Something had changed between them, no doubt. She wanted him-really wanted him. Wanted him in a "I'd fuck you right in the middle of this church right now just so I can feel you inside me" kinda way. So yeah, something had definitely changed between them.

"He does look ridiculously adorable in that suit," she thought. "But I want it off of him."

Spike saw her staring at him, and he couldn't keep his eyes off of her either. They were just drawn to each other, and he was glad that she finally had given in to that attraction. 

Both were lost in their naughty thoughts, when suddenly, they were jolted from them by Anya's vows.

"..And the way you give me good orgasms. God I am glad your dick is so nice and big in length and width. Xander Harris, you really fill me up…not only with love, but with your penis too."

Everyone in the church just stood there, shocked written all over their faces.

"Umm…well…I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride."

Anya grabbed Xander and they kissed passionately for at least two minutes.

When they finally pulled away from one another, the music of Los Del Rio, and the macarena were blasting throughout the church.

Everyone went outside to say goodbye to the newlyweds, at least until the party..but Spike and Buffy were the only two who decided to stay behind. 

Spike reached for his blanket, and pulled it over his sombrero clad head. 

"Spike" Buffy said.

"Yes Buffy."

"I wanna rip your clothes off and I want you to fuck me like there's no tomorrow."

Buffy was awakened from her visual 'image' by Spike standing there smirking seductively at her.

"Well, you wanted to tell me?"

"I…well…we…I'llseeyouattheparty," she said quickly, a deep red creeping onto her cheeks.

"She hadn't actually said that had she? No she couldn't of, unless he would have said something," she thought.

She grabbed her purse and ran out of the church, but Spike noticed something big and round fall from her bag.

He walked over to it, and picked up a can of extra creamy whipped cream.

"Wonder why she'd be carryin this around?" Spike thought with a naughty smile on his face. "I think this can may come in handy later, better bring it with me."

He pulled the blanket over his head, and ran to the limo that was waiting for him.

"What took you so long?" Giles asked.

"Just dropped something."

The limo pulled off, and they were all on their way to and unforgettable evening.

End Part 17A

Hope you enjoyed! More soon!


	20. The Reception:Part 17B

The Spanish Wedding

Part 17B

The sun was setting, and by the time the limo's pulled up to the Sunnydale Sombrero Society, it was completely dark. The building was in the shape of a huge sombrero, and Ricky Martin's "Livin La Vida Loca" was blasting from the speakers.

"Bout time," said Spike. "I thought I was gonna have to walk around with this blanket on my head the whole day."

But no one answered him. Spike turned to see what Giles was up to, and got an eyeful.

"Bloody hell, can you two horn dogs keep your bloody hands off each other for one second?!" Spike yelled to Barbie and Giles. But they paid no attention to him.

"Whatever.." Spike started to say, but then realized something. "Whoa, I just used a scoobyism, this is bad."

He stuck his head out the sunroof of the limo and saw Xander and Anya stepping out onto the carpet.

"Get me out of here, please.." Spike silently begged. "I need to talk to Buffy."

Spike noticed a Spanish man in a sombrero and a tux and called him over the limo.

"Hey, you there, yeah you, the one in the silly lookin outfit," Spike said, not realizing that they had the exact same outfit on.

"Si Senor, how may I help you?" the man asked.

"I was just wondering, when are they going to let us into the party, a man can only take so much," he said as he motioned over to Barbie and Giles making out.

"Well, Mrs. Harris requested that she have pictures with her wedding party taken first, then guests can go on in."

"Well, I'm the best man, and I think I have every right to be in 'em pictures," Spike said.

"Ahh, you are the best man… you are, eh, Senor Spike?" the Spanish man asked Spike.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" said Spike.

"Well, I have a message for you, from a Senorita…Fluffy?" the man said, trying to read what he had wrote down.

"Fluf…oh Buffy…Buffy!?" Spike shouted.

"Si, that is it… Buffy, I knew I wrote it wrong."

"Well, what did she want?" Spike asked.

All of a sudden, a limo pulled up next to him, and the man was gone.

"Bloody hell!" 

He stepped out of the car, and walked over to where the pictures were getting taken.

"Spike, there you are, we were wondering where our favorite best man went," Xander said in a cheery, yet sarcastic voice.

"Harris, no games now, have you seen Buffy?" Spike asked very seriously.

"She was just taking pictures with us," Anya chimed in. "But then she left after that. I told her that I needed a shot of the Best Man, which is you, and her together, but then she took off."

"Well, do you have any idea where she went?" Spike asked.

"She probably went inside, you know maybe she wanted to get to the free tacos while there were still some left…have you seen some of the ladies that are here…I have a feeling we should've ordered another truck-load," Xander joked.

"Okay, well, I'm gonna go try to find her," Spike said.

"Smile!" said the photographer.

Xander and Anya hugged and posed for the picture, but Spike's sombrero was blocking Xander's head, unbeknownst to anyone else.

"Ohh, now I need a picture with Maria!!!" Anya announced. "Maria! Maria? Where are you Maria?"

Meanwhile, in the reception hall….

"Mmm…Senor, these tacos are delicious, especially since they're free!" announced Maria.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An hour and six tacos later, Spike still couldn't find Buffy.

"Where could she be?" he thought. "I hope nothing happened…now stop it Spike, she's fine…if only I could find that man again."

All of a sudden, the lights went out, and the room went completely silent.

"This can't be good" thought Spike. "Buffy…where are you?"

All of a sudden, the lights started to flash, and Spike heard what sounded like clapping.

"What the hell?" he thought. "Is this some sort of Spanish custom or something?" 

But when the music started to play, Spike knew exactly what was going on.

"Bugger! Maybe if I sneak out the back, they'll never know," he thought.

The sounds of the macarena started to play, and when Spike felt a pull on his arm, he knew he was trapped.

"Senor's and Senorita's" the DJ announced, "For your viewing pleasure, we have a very special guest here tonight…"

"Oh no.." Spike thought.

"Please welcome, Senor Spike, who will dance the macarena for us all tonight!"

Cheers were made and then Spike heard Xander's voice over the microphone, 

"Hey Spike, probably thought I forgot, huh buddy?"

"I should've killed him four years ago," Spike thought.

Spike was interrupted from his thoughts of how he could get Xander back when he felt a pull on his arm.

"Dancing cutie!" yelled one of the Spanish women. "Dance for us sexy!"

The spotlight was focused on Spike now, and the whole room was staring at him.

"Why not?" Spike thought. "Didn't take two weeks worth of dance lessons for nothing!"

So he jumped out on the dance floor, and started to do the macarena.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Where is that stupid, arrogant, gorgeous, sexy vampire?" Buffy thought as she waited in sombrero suite 547 in the hotel that was connected to the reception hall.

"Maybe he doesn't want to come," Buffy thought sadly. "Maybe he doesn't want me.."

Buffy thought about this for a moment…

"No, he *so* wants me…"

Thoughts and excuses were flying through her head, and then she came to the most logical conclusion.

"He must not of gotten the message, that's it," she thought, trying to convince herself that he wasn't standing her up.

When her limo had pulled up at the reception hall, she spotted a man in the *exact***** same suit and sombrero as Spike…so thinking it was him, she jumped out of the limo, jumped onto him, only to her horror, it had been some complete stranger. He worked at the Sombrero Society, so she asked him to give Spike the message. 

"He probably just never got the message...yeah that's it...," Buffy thought. She didn't want to think that yet another man in her life was standing her up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in the reception hall…

"Go Spike, Go Spike!" cheered hundreds of women. 

"Haha, they love me!" Spike thought. "I should do this professionally, ya know, Spike the Salsa Sombrero Senor of Sunny-D!"

"Heyyyy Macarena!" the crowd yelled. 

"Yeah, you shake that sweet behind of yours you sexy fajita!" yelled Maria.

"Or not…" thought Spike.

The song ended, and Spike got a standing ovation and even a lacy red thong…

"Ohh, wonder who threw this?" Spike thought, as he looked seductively in the audience to see if maybe Buffy had given him a little surprise.

Spike looked over and saw a Spanish man standing to the side, winking at him.

"Bloody hell man! That's just…uhh…gross!" Spike said as he threw the underwear on the floor.

"Senor Spike, do you have anything to say, after that kick ass performance you gave us?" asked the DJ.

"All I'd like to say is thank you, thank you, really...it was nothing…glad you liked it, but I really must go now," Spike quickly said into the mic, as he took off his sombrero and was on his way to find Buffy.

"Oh, and one more thing- you..yea you with the underwear, don't try anything," Spike said as he pointed to the Spanish man who threw his panties.

And with that, he was off to find that mysterious man who had needed to give him a message, or even better, Buffy herself.


	21. The Search is On: Part 17C

The Spanish Wedding

Part 17C

Sorry it took so long…I've been very busy lately, but hopefully, it was worth the wait!

Spike had been searching all over the sombrero shaped building, otherwise known as The Sombrero Society, and there was still no sign of Buffy.

"Where the hell did the Slayer run off to?" he thought to himself.

Spike had been unable to find the man who was dressed in the same tacky suit he was, and Spike had a feeling the man knew where Buffy was. Spike continued to wander around aimlessly, searching for Buffy. What other choice did he have? It was either find Buffy-and soon…or dance another round of the macarena in front of sixty rowdy Spanish women, and one very disturbing man with a fetish for women's underwear. The choice was pretty clear to Spike.

"I have to find her." 

And with that thought in his head, he headed toward the hotel part of the complex, not knowing where he was going, but knowing what he was searching for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, back in Sombrero Suite 547…

"Maybe I should just go back to the party," thought Buffy. "I mean, if Spike wanted to show, he would've by now."

Buffy quickly slipped back into her bright pink dress, but left the sombrero on the bed. 

"I'm *so* not wearing that thing again," she thought. "My hair looks bad enough as it is."

Buffy didn't even bother to look back as she exited the suite. 

"I really thought he would show…I was so foolish to think anything would happen between us tonight."

With a tear running down her cheek, Buffy closed the door, and walked away, not only from the room, but also from Spike.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at the party…

"Hey, Xander, have you seen Maria? I wanted to give her a little gift for helping me out with the wedding, and being such a good friend," asked Anya. 

"No, I haven't…but did you see Barbie and Giles? I mean..go Giles…looks like our good old Watcher is going to be getting some tonight," said Xander.

"Hey, watch who you call "old" Mr.," Anya scolded. "I am over 1120 years old, and you remember that!"

"An, do we have to do this now? Can't we just dance?" Xander asked.

"Okay, I'm sorry..it's just that I get upset when people think of 40 as "old"…let me tell you what old is…one time, I cursed a vain, selfish young man…" 

"Here we go.." Xander mumbled to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike was on his way to the front desk to ask if anyone had seen a beautiful woman wearing a bloody awful dress, when he heard a faint whisper come from the indoor pool area.

"Spike…"

"Buffy?" Spike asked, barely audible.

But there was no answer.

"Great, now I'm hearing things..this is just bloody wonderful!"

"Spike…come here…I need you…" said the mysterious voice again.

"Okay, now I know I'm not crazy, I just heard something," Spike thought. "Buffy, is that you?" Spike asked as he walked towards the doors that led to the Sombrero shaped indoor pool.

Again, there was no answer. But Spike decided to check it out anyway. He walked over to the doors, and opened them very quietly.

"Buffy? Are you in here?" Spike asked. He was now in the pool area, with the doors closed behind him. He appeared to be the only one there…but he wasn't alone.

"I'm in the sauna," said the voice.

"Sauna..why are you in the bloody sauna?" Spike thought about this for a moment. "Who cares if she's in a bloody sauna you idiot!" Spike thought to himself. "She's in a small, confined area..in extreme heat…this is a good thing." "I'll be right there," he answered.

Spike made sure no one else was in the room, as he changed into a different suit..his birthday suit. He walked over to the sauna door, and opened it. There was steam everywhere, so he was unable to see anything for a few moments..but what he saw shocked him.

"You…you're not Buffy!" Spike yelled.

"Si, Spike…but I am the one who has come for you…and you have come for me too," Maria said.

"Bloody hell…what are you talking about? No comprende Espanol…what is with you women?" Spike asked as he struggled to escape the wrath of Maria..party planner, supposed friend, and…demon?

Maria's face suddenly became all flushed…and her features turned from human to demonic.

"What the?" Spike asked…but was cut off when Maria suddenly grabbed him and threw her body onto his.

"Spike…I like you…and I want you…and I always get what I want.." Maria said.

"What the hell kinda demon are you?" 

"I'm what the Spanish would call "El Demonio Córneo", otherwise known as…"

"The Horny Demon," Spike answered for her. "I heard rumors of men being attacked by them once, always just thought it was a legend."

"Well, I am the real deal…" Maria said as she leaned into kiss Spike.

"Well, Maria, there's one thing you probably weren't counting on…"

"And what's that?" Maria asked.

"Me being a vampire," Spike said as he morphed into game face. "Now where's Buffy?" Spike asked as he pushed Maria off of him. 

"I do not know," Maria answered. "But playing rough sure turns me on, even more than I already am."

"I swear, if you touched her in any way, I'll…" Spike threatened…but then suddenly got a better idea.

He punched Maria, and quickly opened the door to the sauna, making sure not to let her out. He grabbed a pool stick off the pool table, and put it between the handle, locking Maria in the sauna. But it wasn't going to hold for long. 

"Dammit, think Spike, think you bloody fool!"

He suddenly had an epiphany, and an idea came into his head. He ran over to the thermostat that controlled the temperature of the sauna, and turned the knob up to extreme heat (120+ degrees). Maria continued to pound on the door, but it was no use…the heat was up, and Maria was going down. Within two minutes, the banging on the door ceased, and Maria was no more. But just to make sure, Spike opened the door. The body of Maria, otherwise known as "The Horny Demon", fell onto the floor, all wrinkled and scarred. She was dead. Spike didn't know what to do with the body, so he just left it there. He turned around to pick up his suit, when he was greeted with a surprise…

Two little children were standing there in their bathing suits, just staring open mouthed at Spike, who was still in game face…make that completely naked, and still in game face…

"Mommmmyyyyyy!!!" the little girl screamed.

"Bloody hell!" Spike yelled as he grabbed his suit, and made a quick escape out the back door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy had reached the front desk, ready to return her room key, when she heard the voice of a little girl's screams coming from the indoor pool. She immediately ran to the pool, and saw two little kids, and boy and a girl, standing over a shriveled up body of a demon…a demon who looked a lot like Maria…

"What happened here?" Buffy asked the two kids.

"There was a monster here…with no clothes on, just a minute ago…" the little boy said. "But, then my sister screamed, and he ran out that door."

"Listen, I need you to tell me what the monster looked like…"Buffy said, but she wasn't able to get an answer because the kid's parents came rushing through the doors.

"Carolyn, what's wrong? Are you alright?" the mother asked.

"I'm fine, but look.." Carolyn said as she pointed to the dead body of Maria.

"Who are you?" the father asked Buffy.

"Me? I'm out of here," Buffy says as she headed out the doors to find Giles, and see what was up with the whole Maria being a demon thing. Then she remembered one little thing…

"Shit," Buffy cursed under her breath. "I forgot my bag in that stupid hotel room. I'll just run up there one last time…"

Buffy made a quick exit before the hotel manager got to the scene, and ran to the elevator.

"It'll be quick..just in and out…just get your bag, then leave Summers," Buffy said to herself.

She pushed the button for 5, and was on her way up to the suite that caused her so much pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike managed to duck into an open elevator, and got changed quickly.

"That was too weird, Maria a demon…a horny demon no less…actually, now that I think of it, I can't believe I never realized it before," Spike thought.

The elevator continued to go up until it reached the 5th floor. The doors opened, and for some reason, unknown to Spike, he walked out. He made a quick left, and just started walking. All of a sudden, something hit him like a kick in the groin.

"Buffy.." he said. Spike could feel her presence, he knew that she was here, or had been there. He went from room to room, but wasn't able to pinpoint her exact location. "C'mon now, isn't this what vampiric senses are for?" 

He walked with his sombrero pointed low, shielding his face in case those bloody brats had hotel security after him. Not being able to see very well, he bumped into someone, and they both quickly apologized. It was when he heard the voice that he knew it was exactly what he had been searching for.

"Buffy…" Spike said breathlessly, as he looked up and saw her face.

"Spike…" 

End Part 17C…more soon! Feedback appreciated! Hope you enjoyed!


	22. Peaches n' Cream: Part 17D

The Spanish Wedding

Part 17D

Everyone's feedback and comments have motivated me to write faster…so here's Chapter 17D! And the fact that I feel I need to finish this fic before the actual wedding episode, which airs in two weeks I believe, is putting a little bit of pressure on me…lol…But as always, your feedback and comments mean so much to me! SO keep them coming! g

Lyrics this part from 112's "Peaches and Cream"

"Spike..." Buffy said breathlessly.

"Buffy…what are you doing here? I've been looking all over for you," Spike said with a faint smile on his face, relieved to just look into her eyes.

"I…I don't want to talk about it…I just need to get my bag from the room," she said as she quickly walked by him and towards suite 547.

Spike grabbed her arm and spun her around, bringing them face to face, their lips just inches from each other. 

"Now luv, I think we need to have a talk…" Spike breathed into Buffy's ear. Then Spike thought about what she just said, and asked, "Why are you going into one of 'em rooms anyway?"

"You mean…you don't know?" Buffy asked, as it all came together.

"Know what luv? Is there something I'm supposed to know?" Spike asked with a smirk on his face.

Just as he asked, two hotel security guards came off the elevator, and Buffy, knowing that the children's parents probably think she had something to do with the dead body, pulled out her hotel key and grabbed Spike.

"Quick get in," she said as she pulled Spike by the collar of his suit.

"Hey, I'm not arguing with you," Spike said with a cocky grin on his face.

Once the door was securely shut behind them, Spike chose to speak first.

"Buffy, luv, what are we doing in a hotel room?"

"Did you not see those guards out there?" Buffy asked with a panicked tone. "They're after me because they think I killed someone, or something that just happened to look a lot like our good friend Maria. And there's some naked monster running around the Sombrero Society who killed her, and it's my job to find it."

"What?" Spike asked, then it hit him. "Buffy, no, Maria is the monster, the only monster."

"What…what are you talking about?" Buffy asked, totally confused by what Spike was saying.

"Maria…she is a demon…was, until I got to her…" Spike started to explain, until he was cut off by Buffy.

"So you're the naked monster the kids told me about?" Buffy asked, as she started to piece everything together.

"That'd be me," Spike grinned. "'Cept the whole 'monster' part…gave that up when I met a girl that changed that all," Spike admitted as he looked up and stared into Buffy's eyes.

"Ummm…I…" Buffy tried to find words, but was at a loss suddenly. She forced herself to look away from Spike's deep blue eyes, and try to concentrate on the matter at hand. "Okay, three questions…1) What kind of a demon was Maria? 2) How did you know she was a demon and 3) Why were you naked?" Buffy asked, the last question bringing a smile to her face.

"Ahh, what good questions…"Spike laughed. "Well, first off, Maria is what is known as El Demonio Córneo.."

"Uhh, Spike I failed French in high school," Buffy said.

"It's not French luv, it's Spanish," Spike said trying to hold back his laughter. 

"Oh," was all that she said, embarrassed.

"Well, it translates to The Horny Demon, and I don't know much about it, besides the obvious fact that it's well, always horny…Watcher's the one who'll fill you in on all the details from those books of his," Spike said.

"That's seriously disturbing," Buffy said. "But how did you know she was a demon?"

"Well, this question actually ties into the whole why was I naked thing," Spike laughed.

"Explain…"Buffy said, an amused look on her face.

"I heard a voice comin from the sauna…I figured itwasyours," Spike mumbled very quickly, hoping that she hadn't heard that part, but she did.

"You thought it was me!?" Buffy exclaimed.

"Well, a guy can wish can't he?" Spike said, defeated. "Anyhow, I heard a voice, it told me to go into the sauna, so I did…I walked in, hopin to find you, but instead, Maria was there, things got ugly, I tried to leave, and she turned into a demon on me."

"How did you kill her?" Buffy asked.

"I locked her in there, turned the heat up, and before I knew it, she was dead."

"Well, at least we don't have to worry about her anymore…but we do have to watch out for those guards," Buffy said as she stuck her head out the door. "No one's there now, but they might come back…we should just lay low for a while, then we can head back to the party and find Giles and the others."

"Yea, that's a good idea pet," Spike said. "But, there's just one thing I've been meaning to ask you."

"What's that?"

"Why did you rent a room?" Spike asked with a mischievous look on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at the party…

"Honey, have you seen Buffy or Spike recently?" Xander asked his wife. "They've been MIA for at least two hours, I'm starting to think something's up."

"Who cares?" Anya shrugged. "They're probably just getting it on, it's about time I say."

"You and the sex, should've figured that's the answer I'd get from you," Xander joked.

Suddenly, Xander heard a familiar voice over the microphone.

"Attention…excuse me all…can I have your attention please?" Giles asked.

"What is he doing?!" Anya asked, angrily. "He's ruining my party! We were just about to start the burrito eating contest!"

"I have a little song, I'd like to sing…for someone special in my life…Barbie, this one's for you…"

The music started, and 112's "Peaches n' Cream" started playing throughout the hall.

"It's the G, the I, the L, E-S…" Giles started singing.

"I think he's drunk," Tara stated, bluntly. "I've never seen him drunk before…I didn't think he knew what alcohol was."

"Yeah, but doesn't he look sexy?" Willow asked, as she dreamily stared at Giles.

"Well…he does look good in that suit…," Tara added.

"Girls, girls? What's going on here? This is GILES," Xander said.

"I don't think he looks sexy…he's ruining my fiesta!" Anya whined.

"Now the question that's running through my mind isn't whether or not the G-man looks sexy…it's how does he know this song?" Xander asked.

"Let me tell you what I wanna do…let me show you that I'm feelin you…wanna sex wanna ride wit you…wanna taste, wanna put my lips all over you…" Giles sang as he stared straight at Barbie.

"Oh my god….now this is just disturbing…" Xander said, not believing the words coming out of Giles' mouth.

"Can't get enough of you…Always taken of you…So sweet, so very wet…So good, girl you make me sweat…Girl I'm talkin' 'bout…"

"Oh…Giles you are too sexy!" Barbie screamed as she ran up to the stage.

He pulled her up, so that she was next to him, and continued singing.

"Peaches and cream…I need it cause you know that I'm a fiend…Gettin' freaky in my Citroen.…It's even better when it's with ice cream…  
Know what I mean…Peaches n' Cream!" Giles sang as he started grinding against Barbie.

"Okay, that's it, I've seen enough…I'm now officially scarred for life…" Xander said as he tried to look away.

"She's so lucky…" Willow said, totally engrossed in the song, and Giles.

"Willow…remember your whole 'gay now' speech?" Xander asked. "This is Giles for god's sakes…the G-Man…old…watchery…"

"Sexy…" Tara added.

"I was going for wrinkly, but whatever you think," Xander said.

Giles continued to sing, until the song was over, and was met with a standing ovation.

"Let's get out of here…" Barbie whispered seductively in his ear.

"You don't have to ask me twice!" Giles answered, as he put the mic down, and him and Barbie made a quick escape for the hotel.

Things had settled down, until two security guards came into the hall.

"Excuse me, is there a Mr. Harris here?" Asked one of the men.

"That'd be me," Xander said.

"I'm the Mrs.!" Anya exclaimed.

"That's nice," the man said. "Has anyone gone missing from your party?"

"Well two friends…actually, one friend, and one annoying person have been missing for a while…what happened?" Xander asked, starting to worry.

"Well, there was a murder…"

"Oh my god…but what does this have to do with us?" Anya asked. "I just want to have my fiesta!" 

"We need you to identify her…the victim that is."

"Buffy" Xander said, not wanting to believe what he was hearing.

"Come with us sir…you too Miss…," said one of the guards.

"That's Mrs. Now!" Anya pronounced.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why…why I rented this room?" Buffy asked. "It's actually a really funny story…"

"Care to share?" Spike asked, loving the fact he was making her squirm.

"Not really…" Buffy said.

Spike moved over to the bed where she was sitting, and just stood there. He waited until she moved over, making room for him to sit with her. 

"Well, that counts for something," he thought.

"Luv…you can tell me…"

"Noooo, please Spike, just drop it," Buffy pleaded.

"No, I'm not gonna just drop it, an' act like nothin happened…"

"Spike, you wouldn't understand…I'm not going to tell you…it's too embarrassing…," Buffy said.

"Buffy," Spike stated, as he grabbed her hands, and held them…and looked at her…really looked at her…it reminded him of the night he held her after she had been brought back by her friends.

"Spike, please…"

"Luv…I know why you rented this room," Spike said, waiting for her to admit that she had wanted them to make love, this very night.

"You…you know?" Buffy asked as she stared deep into his eyes…those eyes that constantly haunted her…but at the same time, brought so much joy and love to her life.

"Buffy, it was kind of obvious," Spike gently smiled. "I knew, I was jus' waitin for you to admit it, to both me, and yourself."

"But, I thought you never got the message…how did you know?"

"I just knew," Spike said.

"I was afraid you were rejecting me," Buffy said as she moved in closer to Spike. "I thought…I thought you didn't want me."

"Didn't want you? Buffy, have you lost it? I've wanted you since the first time I saw you…I may not have admitted it to myself then…but you've always been the one for me," Spike admitted, as he ran his hands through her hair.

"Spike…I rented this room tonight because I wanted to show you how I feel about you…" Buffy said as she leaned into his embrace. "God he smells good," she thought." "I wanted to not only show you…but tell you…"

"What did you want to tell me?" Spike asked.

"This." Buffy said, as she leaned over and ravaged his mouth.

"This feels so right," Spike said, as he continued to kiss her mouth, and started to work his way lower.

"Oh god….Spike…"

They continued to kiss for several minutes until Spike spoke. 

"Buffy…I love you," Spike said breathlessly. There, he had said it. Finally.

Buffy stopped kissing him, and just stared at him for a moment, taking in what he had just said.

"Spike…I love…" Buffy started to say, but was stopped by the sudden shaking of the bed.

"What's going on?" Spike asked. "She almost said it…she almost said she loved me…she was going to," he thought.

"I don't know…is it an earthquake?" Buffy asked. "He said he loved me…wow…and I almost said it back…" she thought.

"If it was an earthquake luv, then everything else would be shaking," Spike added. "Only the bed it moving."

Suddenly, he heard laughter…coming from Buffy.

"What's so funny luv?" Spike asked confused.

"You…when you leaned back, you hit the vibrate button on the bed!" Buffy exclaimed, as she broke out into a fit of laughter.

Spike looked back, and saw that indeed, he had switched the "Vibrate Bed" button to "on". With the way everything had been going that night, Spike wasn't very surprised that this had happened. But soon, he was laughing too. The two of them were on the shaking bed, laughing their asses off, over the fact that the vibrating bed had ruined their first chance at making love. 

"How ironic.." Buffy said. "I figured the vibrating bed would be a fun little extra."

"Well…it was funny alright…" Spike laughed. But his expression turned from funny to serious in a second. "Buffy, there's something I need to say though, and don't interrupt me until I'm done sayin it, alright?"

"Yes…" Buffy waited for him to start talking.

"I love you." He stated it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, maybe that's because it was. "And I know, that you love me…even if you didn't get to say it."

"Spike, I…"

"Let me finish," he said firmly. "And as much as I want to rip off that hideous dress you're wearing and ravish you and make love to you like there's no tomorrow…"

"Yea…" Buffy said, wishing the stupid bed would stop vibrating.

"I'm not going to."

There was silence for about a minute, until Buffy spoke.

"Why not?" Simple, yet to the point. 

"Luv…look where we are…we're in a place called the Sombrero Society, sitting on a sombrero shaped bed that vibrates…I mean, do you really want out first time to be here?" Spike asked.

"He has a point," Buffy thought. "But god he looks so yummy."

"I guess you're right, but…"

"Shh...no buts…" Spike said. "Let's just go back to the party, and then, we can see what happens from there."

"Okay," Buffy said as she grabbed her bag off the dresser. 

Spike went over to the door to make sure there were no guards, and when the coast was clear, he motioned for Buffy to come. Before they walked out of the room though, Buffy just had to say one more thing to Spike.

"Oh, and Spike?" 

"Yea luv?"

"Thank you…" Buffy said, as she grabbed his hands and kissed him on the lips.

"Anything for my Slayer."

They walked over to the elevator, ready to head back to the party, when they got a surprise. The elevator door opened to reveal Barbie and Giles, all over each other, in a total grope-fest.

"Oh, I knew you guys were doing it…but this is just a little too vivid for me," Buffy said as she stared at the couple.

"Oh, uh…hello Buffy…Spike…we're um, just…we'll be out of you way in a second…sorry to keep you waiting," Giles said, as he started to button his shirt.

"Get a room," Spike said.

"Why not have ours?" Buffy asked as she looked at Spike and smiled.

"You…uh..two have a room?" Giles asked.

"Yeah…why not…everyone's got one these days," Buffy joked, as she handed Giles her key.

"Well…thank you very much…Buffy, don't wait for me at the end of the party, I have a feeling we won't be heading home anytime soon," Giles said as he carried Barbie out of the elevator.

"Oh Rupey, you know how I like it!" Barbie yelled.

"We're out of here…now!" Buffy said as she grabbed Spike and pulled him into the elevator. The doors closed, and they immediately started kissing.

Meanwhile, in Suite 547…

"Rupey where are you going?" Barbie asked.

"Just to the fridge, to see if there's any uh, food we can bring to bed," Giles said with a wide grin.

"Mmmmm, well hurry back, I miss you, and this bed shaking feels funky," Barbie said.

Giles opened up the fridge, and was delighted with what he saw.

"Whipped cream and strawberries…the people around here sure know how to stack their fridges!" Giles announced as he grabbed a can of whipped cream and a bowl of strawberries, and carried them back to the vibrating sombrero shaped bed.

End Part 17D Part 18 coming soon! Hope you enjoyed, and as always, feedback appreciated!

  
  



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